Miles to go before I sleep
by Carmilla DeWinter
Summary: There's a seeker awaiting execution for murdering an academy colleague on an offworld expedition. Police bots Prowl and Jazz find the evidence lacking, and take their concerns to Optimus Prime. Starscream isn't all that amenable to being saved, though. G1 pre-war AU


As for this fic, there will be

100 breems = 1 joor

10 joors = 1 orn, made up of 5 day and 5 night joors, since my Cybertron has no axial tilt, and therefore no seasons

10 orns = 1 decacycle

1060 orns = 1 stellar cycle

5 stellar cycles = 1 vorn

Further notes: Title taken from a Robert Frost poem (obviously). I don't own these characters.

There's (pre-)slash in here. However, there's a reason I labelled this "drama" only. As the summary says already: warning for offscreen character death.

Thanks to kaydeeblue and Schwertlilie82 for their input.

* * *

Miles to go before I sleep

_(To those who left: I am still, sometimes, angry.)_

Six vorns earlier

Starscream had fled into a corner of the dorm's atrium to make sense of the printout with directions to his new room. The halls were teeming with mechs, grounders, that was, obviously freshmechs like Starscream, plus their parents. Most of them were carrying boxes or crates, and Starscream was again reminded that he'd arrived alone and didn't own more than fit into his subspace comfortably.

Judging by the looks he was given, the others did not believe he belonged here, with them.

Eventually Starscream thought he knew where he had to go without consulting the map again – if he looked like he hadn't just arrived, he might be left alone for at least this orn. So he strolled over to the lift to wait for it.

"Are you sure you're in the correct quadrant of Iacon?" someone from behind Starscream drawled. There were some accompanying snickers.

He turned to find the offending mech, a short, light-framed grounder with some sort of crest on his helm. A noble.

Starscream raised an optic ridge.

"The military academy has its dorms just by the eastern walls," the noble added. "Though I can't imagine they'd let a Seeker enroll."

Starscream sneered. "Good thing then that I'm here for chemistry and xenobiology, no?"

The noble gave him a dubious look, which was mostly echoed by the onlookers.

"Xenobiology?", a deep voice asked.

Starscream blinked and looked, and looked up quite a ways. A fragging shuttle had walked into their little sideshow. The mech had a nice face, once you got over his size, and he smiled down at Starscream as if a military build enrolled in a science academy was the most normal thing in the world. Also, obviously intimidated by the newcomer's sheer size, the noble saw fit to escape and left Starscream talking to the shuttle directly.

Starscream liked the new mech already.

"I'm going for astrophysics and xenobiology," the shuttle added. "I was hoping to make the expedition corps."

"So was I," Starscream admitted, and grinned.

An aswering smile from the shuttle. "Maybe we can go exploring together. I would need a chemist on my team. Name's Skyfire, by the way."

* * *

I

Optimus Prime tapped his fingers on the tabletop and looked at his old teacher. "So you're telling me that Judge Fulcrum sentenced a minor to reformatting." This was somewhat disturbing.

Prowl nodded.

"Why didn't his creators file an appeal?"

"He's a Seeker."

"Ah." Optimus refrained from asking how a Seeker had managed to get into the Science Institute of the Iacon Academy in the first place. Obviously the kid had been granted a scholarship. "I take he's his former commander's ward?"

"Commander Octane handed over his responsibilities to Dean Alkali when Starscream left Vos." A twitch of the sensor panels told Optimus about Prowl's opinion of both supposed caretakers.

To boot, Dean Alkali was the individual who'd accused the kid of trying to steal his partner's credentials in the first place. Given that the kid was nearly catatonic, and therefore not applying his formidable intellect to getting out of this mess, nothing would be done about this unless an outside party intervened.

Optimus cycled air for a sigh. "Very well. I expect you've already filed complaints about Dean Alkali and Judge Fulcrum with Social Services? Second…" he scribbled a few sentences onto an empty datapad and signed. "This is an order to postpone the sentence until I had a chance to look at the case. Give this to whomever is directly responsible. I'm going to put this into the regular mail, too."

"Thank you." Prowl nodded his appreciation and took the datapad rather carefully.

"So… tell my why you've adopted this case in the first place?"

Prowl tilted his head. "Apart from the fact that it represents a blatant injustice?"

"You usually don't drop by personally if it's only an injustice." As Prime, Optimus received all sorts of petitions on an ornly basis, and he knew Prowl had encouraged a fair number of writers over the vorns.

"I can't explain, really. Jazz got his hands on the file and started nagging me about it. After all, the youngling currently cannot speak for himself."

Optimus smiled, knowing that Jazz was an expert nagger. He also knew that these two had been trying for a sparkling for vorns now; and perhaps, this young Seeker was filling a hole of sorts.

"I'll need a copy of the public records," Optimus mused.

Prowl unsubspaced a datapad and placed it onto Prime's desk. "I thought so. However, there is very little, considering he is underage."

Yes, that was going to be a hindrance. "Thank you." At least he wouldn't have to dig up the information himself. "I'm going to look into this and notify you once I've made my decision."

Unfortunately, first he had to endure an official function, during which he was propositioned by three individuals. This number was relatively small, but he still retired as soon as was polite. Megatron might enjoy his 'groupies', as he called them, but Optimus found it somewhat unsettling. Back when he'd been working in the palace archives, very few had been interested in him, but now his admirers were falling all over themselves, complimenting him even when he knew his paint was scuffed, trying to be witty and make him laugh. It was a direct result of the office he held, and by now, he'd given up on the notion of ever finding someone who was interested in Optimus instead of Prime, and was trying to wrap his mind around the fact that, yes, he was probably going to stay single for the rest of his life. It was preferable to being used, at any rate.

So he retreated to the privacy of his suite and switched on the datapad, only to find that Prowl had bent the rules to near breaking point. An unmarked folder contained excerpts from the police file on the case.

It was quite intriguing.

Starscream and his deceased partner had apparently been working on nothing less than the prove of carbon based higher life forms. Since its success would cause something of a paradigm shift, they'd been granted permission for a deep space survey, something that minors usually weren't allowed.

However, most samples were now lost in the ice cap of some remote planet, together with Starscream's partner – Skyfire. According to Starscream, he'd searched for Skyfire, but given up on it for unknown reasons.

What little else he'd said led to the conclusion that he knew or at least believed that Skyfire was, indeed, dead, and that the accident was his fault, presumably because he'd forgotten the bigger flyer wouldn't be able to maneuver an ice storm as well as a Seeker built for athmospheric flight.

Obviously, he had enough jealous colleagues to have this turned into a ploy on his part.

It was stupid, in a way. And yet, the two involved in this breakthrough were both flyers, both there on a scholarship, and, therefore, both some kind of outcasts. Obviously, what Iacon Academy wanted to be, and what it was, were terribly, and in this case, almost deadly, at odds.

The police file also had pictures. Skyfire had been big and white, with a reasonably handsome, open face. Just another lumbering shuttle you wouldn't pay attention to if you met them anywhere that wasn't the Academy. Starscream was… exotic. He had the customary high Seeker cheeks, and in his dark gray face, his slanted, military issue red optics glowed like the fires of the Smelting Pits. He usually didn't seem inclined to smile at the camera, but there was one of the two of them together, big smiles plastered across their faces, looking happy and carefree and comfortable together.

And now it seemed that Starscream didn't have any friends left, much less a family. It was sad, really.

Optimus tapped at the armrest of his couch and made a mental note to look into Seeker creation, maybe ask Megatron about it, too.

Creating someone without a family unit to support them struck him as rather cruel, suddenly.

xxx

"Why the interest in the military?" Megatron asked the next morning, watching him blearily over a cube of diluted energon.

Optimus proceeded to tell the entire story.

"Mh." Megatron rubbed his chin. "This is somewhat disturbing. Obviously, Seeker popularity is at an all time low. But to answer your original question: Usually new Seekers get produced by Vector Sigma when needed."

"They aren't objects," Optimus tried to remind his brother. "They deserve the same rights as everyone else."

"Hah. We'd have a shortage of soldiers then. No one in their right mind would want to be a Seeker."

"There's plenty of ground bound soldiers that aren't mass produced. If we offered better treatment, we'd get volunteers."

"We're arguing in a circle," Megatron said.

"I don't think so. And I'd like more information. There's got to be something on Seeker psychology and how they work."

"The things I do for you…"

"Well, at least you have family to grate on your systems."

Megatron held up his hands in defeat.

xxx

Consequently, Megatron's report found its way on Optimus's desk just as he was preparing to end his work day.

The courier was followed almost immediately by a blue and white mech, and Optimus wondered for the n-th time why he even bothered with a personal assistant if the bot never managed to alert him about this kind of visitor.

"Mirage," Optimus greeted the chairmech of the Senate's Employment Committee.

"Good evening, Optimus."

"What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to join myself and a few others for a game of Risk later."

Gah. "I'm sorry. But I've attended social functions every evening for the past five orns, and I'd like some time to myself."

Mirage smiled, seeming a bit sad. "An elegant letdown as always. Forgive me for trying to draw you out of your shell."

"It's appreciated. Some other night, perhaps."

"Of course." Mirage took the hint and left with a silly little bow.

Optimus leaned back and massaged his temples. That Towers mech was perhaps the only one not after his aft for fame, but it just so happened that Optimus didn't find him appealing in the least. They'd probably make good friends if Mirage ever got over the delusion that Optimus was being shy as opposed to not interested.

Even so, Optimus spent an agreeable evening reading and sipping high grade. The information on Seekers was extremely interesting, but it left him with one question. Seekers were programmed to be resilient and to bounce back from nearly everything, be it abusive officers or war trauma. Apathy was highly unusual for such temperamental individuals. Something was not adding up here, and it left a sick tingle of foreboding in Optimus' fuel tank.

xxx

To solve the riddle, Optimus rescheduled the first few joors of the next orn and took a transport to the Iacon City Penitentiary. The entire institution looked about to faint at his impromptu visit, but eventually he managed to calm them down and let himself be escorted to the cell that held the Seeker.

Before the officer could announce them, Optimus silenced him with a gesture and just looked.

The cell had a force field instead of a door, and was visible in its entirety. On a small bunk sat the Seeker, his back to the wall, legs drawn up and his arms wrapped around them. He had a faraway look in his red optics, and was staring directly at Optimus, but seemed unable to process that he had visitors.

It was almost odd that this should be the same mech as the one on the pictures in the file. Starscream looked incredibly young and somewhat… diminished, too.

"Looks like he didn't even move since last night," the officer said. "We have to stay here and keep watch when it's mealtime, because otherwise he won't even refuel."

"And why don't you have a medic looking into this?"

"Why bother? He's going to be off our hands in a few orns. No point in wasting resources on comfort."

"The judge's decision will probably be revised," Optimus said. "I want to see how he responds to me, and then I want your medic to look at him."

"As you please, Prime, sir." The officer banged his fist against the wall. "Oy, Screamer. Visitor!"

It took a good while until the kid's optics focused and he actually looked at them. Then, Starscream frowned. It was, quite unexpectedly, the cutest thing Optimus had ever seen.

He smiled. "Hello, Starscream."

Hearing his name obviously rattled something. Or maybe it was the tone. "Am I dead yet?" The voice was a hoarse whisper.

"No." What an odd question.

Starscream cycled air for a sigh and looked away again to stare at the wall, or maybe into another world. Who could tell.

The officer moved, obviously displeased at being ignored so.

"Don't." Optimus raised a cautioning hand. "Yelling won't help. Call for the medic, please."

"Sir." The officer stepped away to do as ordered, and Optimus was free to watch the prisoner once more.

Everyone should react to Prime's presence, even if it was to insult him. Being dismissed as unimportant when he announced that he wasn't the Herald of the Unmaker made his armor plates crawl the more he thought about it. Optimus had the sudden urge to barge in there and shake Starscream, make him return from wherever his mind had gone. But he didn't, because he was already involved enough without adding such a blatant impropriety.

The medic arrived after the silence between Optimus and the guard had managed to get uncomfortable. At least the medic seemed unimpressed; he slipped into the cell and went about the motions of rousing Starscream to alertness and performing the scans with a quiet efficiency that managed to calm down even Optimus.

After the scans were done, the medic had a hushed conversation with Starscream – that was, he'd murmur something or other and Starscream would respond with nods or frowns.

It was fascinating.

Eventually, the medic emerged from the cell after squeezing Starscream's hands. "I'll need to have him moved into medical, where we can supervise him at all times."

"And that is because…?"

"That's confidential, I'm afraid. He'll have to testify in court himself, too, since I can only offer corroborating evidence."

"We'd need to take this to the Court of Appeals then," Optimus said.

"Exactly. If you want to do him a favor, find some new legal guardian for him. Someone who takes that job seriously."

"I could simply pardon him."

"You could. But nobody would ever find out the truth, then."

Optimus nodded. Pardoning Starscream wouldn't result in him being accepted with the Academy again, either. "Thank you. I'll see what I can do. Would you keep me appraised of any unusual developments?"

The medic agreed, and Optimus left him to organize the prisoner transport.

On the way back to the Palace, Optimus pondered the situation. He had half a mind to take custody of Starscream himself, but he wasn't sure if this was wise. While he was considered old enough to be Prime, he was too young to pass as anything more than a near-adult's older sibling. He couldn't even imagine being anyone's parent at this point, anyway, and he really didn't have that much time to spare.

So he'd have to wheedle someone else into it.

* * *

II

It was a fine coincidence that Prowl dropped by in the evening for a game of Quattra.

Much to Optimus's surprise, Prowl actually considered it, sensor panels fluttering while his strategic mind calculated all the odds.

"It'd only be nine more vorns," Prowl said eventually. "But according to witnesses, he has a rather abrasive personality. I'll have to talk to Jazz about it."

xxx

It turned out that Jazz wanted to meet the Seeker first, and so Optimus found himself in the Penitentiary's small medical ward two orns later. He wasn't quite sure why Jazz had asked him along as a second set of optics.

They were met by the same medic who'd examined Starscream back in the cell. His name was Blowtorch. He frowned at Optimus's presence, but took Jazz's explanation at face value.

"We'll set up a meeting room for you. The patient doesn't pose much of a danger. He's more likely to zone out on you, really. Touching him usually works to keep him grounded, but you'll need to dose it rather carefully, otherwise he gets too used to it. His condition isn't worsening, but it hasn't improved either. He's a pretty rare case, and we won't make any prognosis at this point."

Jazz made an impatient noise. "So, he's got post traumatic stress disorder or what?"

Blowtorch narrowed his optics at that. "Not quite. You have some experience in dealing with such cases?"

"A bit. I'm with the Iacon Police Department, I've seen my fair share of victims."

"Good. When he's alert, he's coherent enough. You might want to ask him what happened so you'll have an idea what you're dealing with."

"Will do."

Eventually, they were ushered into a small room that held a table, three chairs and an orderly, who was doing his best to remain unobtrusive despite his obnoxiously orange paintjob. And there was Starscream, of course, who sat on one of the chairs and looked like he hadn't even blinked since the last time Optimus had seen him. The orderly nodded in greeting at them and left, locking them in.

"Heya, kid," Jazz said. "Mind if we sit?"

Starscream blinked and focused on them.

Jazz took that as an invitation, and Optimus followed suit.

"I'm Jazz, this is Optimus Prime."

The cute frown returned as Starscream eyed Optimus. "…sir," he rasped.

"Hello."

Starscream blinked once more and his optics began to unfocus.

"Stay with me for a bit, kid," Jazz said, and Starscream looked at him. "I'm being told you need a foster parent, and I'm willing to volunteer as long as we two get along."

Starscream tilted his head. "Why?"

"Why am I volunteering?"

Starscream nodded.

"Because my bondmate doesn't like judges who are too full of themselves, and stumbled over your case. He took it to Optimus, and he, in turn, is a master wheedler."

"I've learned from the best," Optimus said.

"That you did. Hey, kid. Stay with me. You realize we want to help you, right?"

Starscream sighed. "Just let me die."

"Oh, no. We're not making it that easy. Nothing's bad enough to starve yourself."

Starscream looked off somewhere behind Optimus's shoulder. "He's dead," as if that were a reason.

"You mean Skyfire?" Jazz asked

That had Starscream's attention.

"How do you know he's dead? If he wasn't responding to communications, he might simply have fallen into stasis."

Starscream shook his head. "I woke up and he was gone."

Optimus frowned. That didn't make much sense.

"Hang on." Jazz reached out and squeezed Starscream's hand. "Kid, just a breem or two more, and I promise I'll leave you to daydreaming. Deal?"

" …alright."

Starscream's rasp hadn't gotten any better with use of the vocal processor, so maybe his voice was like that. It would explain the name, even if it was rather cruel.

"Good." Jazz smiled. "So, when you say he was gone… was he gone as in, dead, or was he gone as in, you didn't feel him anymore?"

But.

"Both," Starscream said.

Oh.

Jazz seemed a lot less stunned and leaned in to squeeze Starscream's hand again. "Thanks for telling me this. I know it hurts, but you've made it this far. I doubt Skyfire would want you to kill yourself for him. He's let you go to fight another round and be happy some more before you rejoin him."

Starscream looked away and withdrew his hand.

"Oh, kid. I'm sorry. I know being happy is about the furthest thing from your mind at this point. But you know the medics will force feed you if they have to. And I kinda care too much to let you rot in here. So I'm gonna talk to my bondmate, and I'll be back next orn."

Starscream didn't react.

"See you, kid."

It was a lost cause. Starscream had either zoned out again or was angry, but Optimus added his own farewell anyway.

When they'd been let out into the hallway, Jazz leaned against the wall. "Well. Frag."

Optimus tilted his head.

"You gotta be aware of the odds, Optimus. I've seen sturdier mechs just keel over and die because their bondmate was dead. One in two thousand makes it past the first orn. And only ten percent of those don't off themselves sooner or later. There's a good chance we're investing emotionally in someone who's not gonna make it."

Optimus looked down the corridor, where the orderly was coaxing Starscream into walking to his cell, and had once again the urge to follow and maybe even carry the Seeker. "But we're already involved."

"Yup. We're slagged either way."

"Unless he makes it."

They waited in silence until Blowtorch turned up to usher them into his office. It was cramped and didn't have enough chairs, so they had to stand.

"I gather he told you what happened," the medic said.

"That he did. You have him on suicide watch?"

"Of course."

Jazz huffed. "How come no one found out about this in the Academy?"

"You mean his bond?" Blowtorch frowned and leaned back against his desk. "Sparks aren't mature until they're about a hundred vorns old. They change gradually, but can also fluctuate wildly, so usually younglings have their baseline readings recorded at least once a vorn. It makes detecting the changes from a bond nearly impossible in someone this young."

Optimus nodded, remembering those regular appointments with the medics well enough. Though… "I wasn't even aware younglings could sparkbond."

Jazz looked at him exasperatedly. "If it's forbidden, Optimus, what's the conclusion?"

Holding up his hands in defeat, Optimus said, "I thought you'd need at least one mature spark for it."

"You don't," Blowtorch said. "Though the belief isn't discouraged."

A conspiracy of medics, then. Optimus nodded and decided not to argue.

"Well. I suppose I can grill Starscream about the details once he trusts me." Jazz turned his attention to Blowtorch. "And you found out because?"

"He's showing classic symptoms. I didn't have any medical or other information on him, so I just went with the algorithm for unresponsive patients."

Jazz gave a humorless smile. "Wish we had more medics like you. Anyhow. My bondmate isn't adverse to the idea, so we'll bully the dean and get the datawork done as soon as possible."

Blowtorch nodded.

"You have any advice on this?"

"We'll loosen visitation rights because of his condition. If you find a notary who's working quickly, you and your bondmate will be considered Starscream's next of kin by tomorrow. You may see him anytime during visiting joors and outside of them if his condition worsens. He's allowed to have visits from non-family once an orn, for no longer than twenty breems, during visiting joors."

"That's not exactly advice," Jazz pointed out.

"I suggest you make use of his rights. He needs to know that you actually mean what you say, and won't let yourself be discouraged if he's being contrary."

"You've been listening in," said Jazz, and it wasn't a question.

"Well, he still is a prisoner."

"Not for much longer, if I have a say. Anything else we need to know?"

xxx

Jazz was pacing the transport's aisle as they returned to the palace.

"You got some time tonight? We need to work out a visiting schedule with Prowl."

Optimus blinked. "You want me in on this?"

"Well, you want in."

"That's no reason to indulge me."

Jazz grinned. "Right. You've seen his grades?"

Optimus nodded, feeling wary. They'd planned something from the get-go, hadn't they. "He seems to be scoring unusually high."

"He's brilliant. I bet they have less than one student like that in ten vorns. He'd make a perfect advisor for you."

Very well. It didn't explain why Optimus might need an advisor, though. Contrary to popular belief, the Senate weren't all idiots. However, seven Primes preceding Optimus and an uncounted number of Senators had not seen the need to change anything about the Seeker situation, or that of any other mass produced mech. There were a great many things that needed changing, but the Senate had managed to put a dampener on Optimus's enthusiasm rather quickly. Half of them being from extremely privileged backgrounds and defending rights they'd had for eons was enough to have to compromise.

Sometimes Optimus wondered why the underprivileged even voted for them. But then, what worker had the time, credits or energy to get into politics?

Maybe an outside opinion would be useful, since Megatron wasn't much help. He had his hands full with the military and organizing the safety measures against new Quintesson attacks on the mining colonies.

"I gather you're sure he will want such a position," Optimus said.

"Once he's over the trauma, he'll be angry."

It might be true.

Back at the palace, Jazz bustled off to find a notary and then 'kick some Dean aft'.

xxx

The rest of the orn passed quickly, until Optimus had to sit through a few speeches in the city hall as the City of Iacon made some writer a honorary citizen. Fortunately, he was able to leave once the official part was over and he'd greeted the mayor and congratulated the mech whose books he'd never read.

Back home, he found Prowl and Jazz waiting for him. He ushered them into his living room, offered high grade and made them sit, although Jazz seemed to be bursting with nervous energy.

"So?"

"The notary promised to run all the background checks on us tonight, and we've got an appointment in the morning, for all the signatures." Jazz beamed. "I can't wait."

"It's going to be a huge responsibility," Prowl said. "The notary lectured us for nearly a joor."

"You don't sound too pleased about this," Optimus said.

"I worry. I have no way to calculate the outcome."

"The odds are against us," Jazz conceded. "As I told you. But I can't not care, so I might as well take the risk. He'll need constant attention, if he's supposed to make it, so I'm going to take an indefinite unpaid leave until he's better."

Optimus wondered what such devotion to a stranger would do to Prowl. "Are you sure?"

"There's no choice," Prowl answered. "We cannot decide to take him in without seeing it all the way through. He'll need to be watched constantly, and my job doesn't allow me to work part time."

"Of course. If you two ever need a babysitter, call me."

"Says the mech with the busiest schedule possible."

"And still you want me to rearrange it for visits at the Penitentiary."

"Yup." Jazz grinned. "Just a half a joor per orn to do a good deed?"

"I can't promise every orn," Optimus said. "You know that. If they didn't have visiting joors, it'd be easier, but if I'm bound to those, I can only make that many allowances."

"Yeah. I know. You're just the closest thing to a peer group we have at hand, so you're it."

Optimus doubted Starscream had anything that resembled a peer group. With such a wanderer between worlds everyone would find a reason for him not to fit in. Optimus would do his best, though, if only because he was curious what Starscream was actually like. "So, what did Dean Alkali say?"

"That we were crazy. And that we'd regret it, because, well, what did he say, the conniving, ungrateful little fragger has shown his true colors, and even if he didn't kill his 'face buddy, he'll kill someone else soon enough. We didn't tell him about the bond."

Optimus frowned and had a sudden urge to punch the dean.

"Then we said that he'd better watch what he was saying about his charge, because we were willing to take this to a court if he continued. He was rather friendly after that."

"I'll still set someone on the case," Prowl commented idly. "We won't tell anyone about what he said about Starscream this orn, but there's enough evidence to have him removed from his post at least."

* * *

III

Skyfire was screaming at Starscream over the comm. to stop following him, and he couldn't see a thing, as billions of small ice crystals danced through the planet's atmosphere. "Look, I'm in a controlled crash. Get out of this storm, I'll radio my coordinates once I'm down on the surface. Then you can go home and get help, love."

But he'd never radioed the coordinates, so Starscream had landed and found Skyfire's presence buried under masses of ice somewhere near one of the planet's poles.

The white receded as someone tugged at him.

"C'mon, Starscream. Wake up."

Starscream blinked and the medical ward swam into focus. An orange orderly was gripping his hand.

"You've got visitors."

Again? Well, Jazz… the name had been Jazz, no? He'd said he'd be back. How odd.

They walked out of the room, though it was more like a cell – the windows were barred, and Starscream wondered why he'd never noticed before. The corridor was painted a drab yellowing gray, with bare patches where rust was forming reddish brown bubbles. He'd walked this corridor before, he must have. It was amazing that he didn't feel unsettled by not being able to remember it.

The meeting room, that he knew. Jazz was there, though he hadn't brought the Prime but another black-and-white mech with sensor panels sticking out from his back, and a prim looking blue mech.

"Hey, kid." Jazz grinned. "This is my bondmate. Prowl. Prowl, Starscream."

The black-and-white nodded and smiled slightly. "Hello."

Starscream blinked. These two wanted to take custody of him, didn't they? They looked well-off, judging from their paintjobs; why would they risk their social standing for a Seeker?

"And this is Hardcopy. He's a notary, and he's got to ask you two, three questions."

"Good morning." The notary sounded as stiff as he looked. "Why don't we sit down, this may take a while." True to form, he unsubspaced a few datapads as soon as everyone had taken a seat, and started sorting through them with a pinched look.

Starscream looked at the wall, and white flakes of ice began dancing along it, beckoning him to follow.

"Kid." Jazz squeezed his hand. "Stay with us, just for a bit, right."

"Ahem." The notary set down the datapads with a small thud. "So. Starscream. You are aware that these two individuals have petitioned Dean Alkali for the right to be your legal guardians."

Starscream nodded.

"Very well. Dean Alkali seems to be glad to hand over the responsibility. What is your opinion on the matter?"

Starscream sighed and glanced at Prowl, who just had the vaguest of smiles on his face, and Jazz, who looked so damnably hopeful, as if his happiness depended on Starscream's agreement. In another life, it would have had Starscream laughing, it was so ridiculous. Nobody should want him. "I'm not opposed." His voice sounded scratchier than usual.

"Very well. Is there any reason why you accept this so easily? I understand you've met Jazz only once."

"… He actually wants to do it."

"Yes, that was my impression, too." Finally, the notary offered a little smile. "As your legal guardians, they have the duty to keep you healthy and –"

Starscream held up his hand to stop the lecture. "I know." It was only the fourth time he'd hear it.

"Do you? Are you aware you may petition social services to take you out of their custody if you ever feel they neglect your needs or don't have your best interests at spark?"

Right. As if anyone would believe him.

The notary looked at him rather oddly. "Very well. Since you're old enough to have a say in this, would you please sign here." He tapped a stylus on one of the datapads, then handed both over.

Starscream took them and signed. Now he'd have at least someone who'd hold a proper wake when he died.

"Thank you. Now I'll leave you to get acquainted a little better. It was a pleasure working for you." He stood up, so did Jazz and Prowl, and after a nanoklik, Starscream scrambled up as well. Manners.

The door was opened from outside, and the notary slipped out.

The door fell closed again, locks clicked, and a cold, cold wind rushed past Starscream, whipping tiny white crystals of frozen water against his plating.

"Kid." A hand on his arm. "Starscream."

Starscream blinked, and he was back in the small room, and Jazz was gripping him, looking worried.

"You did really good not zoning out when Hardcopy was here, but stay with us for a bit longer."

Starscream sighed. He didn't quite see the point.

"Where do you go when you're staring into space?"

White. It was white and empty and cold, and Skyfire was lost there somewhere. Now if they'd only let Starscream look long enough, he'd find him again, but they always kept him from searching, making him refuel, making him talk, making him wash up, sedating him when he wouldn't recharge, a dozen inane things.

"Starscream. Look at me." Warm hands on his face, and Jazz looking up at him. "You told me he was dead."

Starscream nodded. Skyfire was dead. Dead. Lost to Starscream in that white expanse, and he didn't have the bond anymore, the one thing that would allow him to find Skyfire.

"And the only way to maybe get him back is to die," Jazz said.

Of course. But they wouldn't let Starscream die, and he didn't have the energy to rage at them for it.

"Now, just one thing. He crashed, and you looked for him, right? What did he tell you?"

"… He was going into stasis. He said I should get help." Stupid. Should have stayed and dug him out.

"So you came back here, because you needed to refuel. You were pretty much running on fumes when you got here, so you were out of it for a bit. And then you woke up and he was gone."

Starscream swallowed and nodded.

"And he didn't leave anything with you? No last wish or so?"

Starscream looked away, but Jazz forced him back by rubbing his thumbs over Starscream's cheeks.

The words were echoing in Starscream's processor since he'd woken up in the Academy's medical facility. … _Farewell, my spark, Primus may bless you. I wish you luck and joy and love._

It hurt, being pushed away so, to the point of having someone else's suicide note reused on him.

"He did leave something," Jazz concluded. "And you don't even half like it."

Starscream looked away, and Jazz let him, even removed his hands.

"Do me a favor and think about it. I'll be back later in the orn to discuss how we'll get you out of here."

They left, Jazz with a last squeeze on his arm, Prowl with a tight smile, and the orange orderly took Starscream back to his cell.

He sat down on the berth, but the white place kept eluding him, so he stood up and looked out of his window. The world outside was drab, the buildings dull gray, probably one of Iacon's industrial districts. They were pretty high up here, the sky was a pale early morning blue, and Starscream's wings itched. He hadn't flown in ages.

No, not quite. Starscream checked his chrono. He'd arrived on Cybertron fifty two orns ago, and had been out of it for three. There was a memory from 48 orns ago, when Dean Alkali had asked him what had happened. There'd been a police officer – maybe, Starscream had no idea what the mech's name was, much less his function – who'd pestered him 42 orns ago.

He remembered bits of the trial, too. Remembered being somewhat disappointed they wouldn't just kill him. That had been 25 orns ago. The medic had turned up in his cell four orns ago, and had guessed at his secret in a breem's time.

And now Jazz had made Starscream think about those words.

He'd liked to pretend that Skyfire had been out of it when he'd died. That he'd just thought of the poem because he'd been so moved when they'd read it at Dodge's wake.

But maybe Skyfire had meant it, after all. Hadn't wanted for Starscream to search for him in the white place, and maybe he wasn't even there anymore. It wasn't what they'd promised each other… to death and beyond, two bodies of one mind and one spark.

Skyfire had released Starscream from that promise, and left him adrift.

Starscream splayed his hands against the cool windowpane and leaned his forehead against it. It wasn't fair. He couldn't live without his bondmate any more than he could live without his head or his spark, and yet Skyfire expected him to do so. He'd also be severely disappointed if Starscream didn't make it. _I thought you were stronger than that._

Strong. Hah. Starscream had never been strong. He knew he wouldn't make it, even if he tried.

Time passed, and eventually the orange orderly came to fetch him because Jazz had returned.

Jazz smiled as he entered the visiting room, seeming truly happy to see him, but Starscream didn't have any smiles left.

"Heya, kid. Glad to see you're awake. Have a seat."

Starscream did as told.

"So. I said I'd try to get you out of here. We'll need to file an appeal for that, on the grounds of new evidence. You'll have to tell the court that you and Skyfire were bonded, though."

Oh. Of course. But. There'd been a reason why they'd kept it a secret. Skyfire had wanted to tell the medics, but Starscream had talked him out of it. He hadn't wanted Skyfire to be lectured on how he was older and supposed to be more responsible. Not to mention the fallout if it ever got public.

"Kid? You aren't afraid of admitting to that, are you."

Starscream shook his head and looked at the wall.

"Yes, you are."

Starscream heard Jazz's chair scrape on the floor, and his footsteps, and then an arm around his shoulders tugged him to lean to the side until he felt his shoulder vent hit Jazz's hood.

"What's so bad about admitting you loved him? You two were presenting as a couple to your fellow students, it'd have been odd if you didn't have feelings for each other."

Starscream pushed Jazz away and retreated to a corner.

"Kid… talk to me. I am bonded myself, I might understand."

"No. You've got a perfect little life with a well-paying job and a perfect little bondmate, and I bet you've never talked to a Seeker before you decided to make me your charity case."

Jazz tilted his head. "Wrong on all points. This is about why everyone bought into the accusation, right?"

Starscream frowned. This wasn't like it usually went.

"Look, I won't do you the favor of exploding on you. So, let's start at the beginning. You and Skyfire weren't secretive about your couple status. Correct?"

Starscream nodded. Given that most of the Science Institute had had an opinion on it, it probably wasn't that difficult to find out.

"And still people assumed you killed him for personal gain. While the lover usually is the first suspect, a lot depends on how others perceive the relationship. Especially since the case file tells me the police only started investigating after Alkali made a comment implying a motive for you. Why would he do that? And why did everybody believe it?"

Crossing his arms, Starscream backed further to the wall. "I'm a Seeker."

"Granted. There's a wealth of prejudice, but I don't think that's it."

Well, it was. At its most basic, it was.

"Starscream… if you'd tell me, we could work around it. If you're worried about talking in front of an audience, I can coach you. We can try and anticipate questions the attorney of state might ask. But I gotta know what you're worried about."

Starscream shook his head.

Jazz sighed. "You do realize I actually want to help you, right. I honestly believe you're innocent, and I'm not going to laugh or yell at you or do something equally useless."

"Well, your entire approach is useless."

"Ah. Right. Why?"

"You're assuming everyone will believe what I say."

"Huh." Jazz frowned. "Why wouldn't they believe you were bonded?"

"You've never been called a whore, no?"

Jazz blinked. "Oh. Primus. I'm sorry."

Starscream shook his head again and looked at the opposite wall. He didn't need the dawning pity on Jazz's face. He didn't need anyone's pity.

Across the room, Jazz sighed. "I'll tell you a story if you'll sit."

"I'm too old for stories."

"Nobody's ever too old for stories."

There was a thud and Starscream looked over to see Jazz was now sitting on the table. Someone upper-class like him shouldn't look so comfortable doing that.

"I only ever met one of my creators," Jazz said, "and he never said what had happened to his other half. He was poor, too. I more or less lived on the streets, and joined a gang that had minors do drug runs and beg and steal. One orn I was caught and ended up in a Youngling Home over in Altihex." Half a planet away.

"Anyways, after some adjustment trouble, I got an education and joined the police. Organized crime. They had a gang they wanted to bust, so I volunteered to get a new paintjob and infiltrate them. I thought I could do it, given my history, but the leader noticed something was off and confronted me about it." Jazz studied his fingers. "I had to do some real quick thinking, and the only thing I felt would work was pretending I was crushing on him. Being his lover had its advantages, but not everyone in the department thought it was necessary for gaining info. People seemed to think I was an easy lay, and after I had to dole out a few broken fingers, I requested a transfer. Unfortunately, my reputation preceded me." He offered a wry grin. "Prowl was my superior at the time, and it took me ages to convince him that I wasn't going to use him to 'face my way up the career ladder."

"And the morale of the story is?"

"Let's say, I have no actual idea of what they said about you two, but a bond is a bond, even if we can't use spark scans to prove it. Blowtorch will be happy to testify and maybe we can bring in a shrink. As far as I can tell, you're showing textbook symptoms, so no one could really argue with it."

"I'm not talking to therapists." Starscream had been sent to several, back in Vos, but none of them had actually been helpful. They'd always assumed there was something wrong with him because he wasn't as happy as he was supposed to be as a military grunt.

"The judge or the attorney of state might want one to examine you, for an impartial opinion," Jazz said very calmly. "And since, in this case, you're guilty until proven innocent, we'll have to make concessions. But we're going to find you the best lawyer we can afford and you know we'll be with you every step of the way."

"No, I don't." Some desperate needy part of Starscream's mind really wanted to believe it, but he pounded it into silence. Shouldn't have listened to it in the morning, either.

"Hah." Jazz offered a humorless grin. "Figures. You've been handed around like a used part with a rust infection. I guess we'll just have to prove it to you by actually keeping our promises."

Starscream stared at him. "Why are you doing this?"

"The first time Prowl told me about your case, he was ranting how any officer of his could waste so much time on a joke. And, well, reformatting isn't something you dole out lightly. Usually it's for people who just don't learn, not for first time perps. He was really upset, and the fastest way to do anything about it was go complain to Optimus. The bonus point is that now Optimus is aware that Seekers are real people, too, and he will actually try and change things."

"About time."

"Yup. Anyway, he wheedled me into having a look at you."

Starscream tilted his head. Pretty as the story was, "that's not the reason."

"It's half the reason. Prowl and I've been trying to create for a while now. I guess you just appealed to my parenting instincts, and Prowl's indulging my madness. It's not that he doesn't want to do it, but he's pretty reserved."

So Starscream was what? A quick way to a dream? An interim solution until they had a real creation? "I'm not a kid you'll be able to brag about at parties."

"No? Even if the Prowler and I worked together, we wouldn't be able to get your grades. But we aren't doing this to be able to brag. We wouldn't have a right to do so, anyway. I can't really explain it fully. Sorry."

Starscream nodded. It was done now, he'd just have to make the most of it and be prepared to be kicked out once they had their dream fulfilled. He caught himself. He wasn't going to make it that long, anyway, and that was probably for the best.

"Back to the topic at hand. Are you willing to testify in court?"

Well. Jazz was good at sweet-talking Starscream. "Yes."

"Good. Now. You never once complained that Prowl and I are cops."

Starscream looked at Jazz. "Should I?"

"People your age usually have an issue with all sorts of authorities."

"I was stationed in Kaon for a bit, doing law enforcement."

"It's not right, what they're doing to you kids. You're too young to not be judgmental."

Starscream raised an optic ridge. "I should assume that was a good thing."

Jazz sighed. "It is. It's just weird. You act like someone twice your age."

Well, acting grown up was usually considered a good thing, too. It was why they'd gotten permission to go on the survey in the first place. Being immature would have been a blessing, in hindsight. He'd still have Skyfire.

Gods. The ache returned with a sudden burning in his fuel tanks, and he sunk to the ground, hugging his abdomen. He wanted Skyfire back.

"Oh, kid." There was a hand on his upper left arm, stroking up and down.

"It hurts." Some invisible monster was ripping Starscream's insides apart. It hadn't hurt like that since he'd woken up in the Academy, and now the white place wasn't there anymore to lose himself in.

"It will for a while," Jazz said. He didn't say anything more, just continued stroking Starscream's arm.

Eventually, the ache lessened somewhat, and Starscream looked at Jazz, who offered a smile back. "Better?"

Starscream shook his head. Bearable for the next joor, maybe.

"I thought so." Jazz added another sad smile. "If you ever need anything and I'm not here, tell the medic to call me, right? Even if you just need me to sit with you."

Sighing, Starscream stretched his legs and stood up. He was a pathetic heap of slag, wasn't he.

"You want to be alone for a bit, right?"

Probably. Yes.

Jazz stood. "I'm going to be back early tomorrow. Maybe I'll bring a lawyer, too. I won't hire anyone you don't like. Optimus has offered to come see you later in the orn, if you want to."

Optimus, as in Prime? "Aren't you overdoing it? I'm not on my deathbed."

"Kid… are you even aware of the odds we're trying to beat?"

Starscream frowned. He understood that people didn't survive their bondmates very often.

"You're one out of two thousand not to have died from spark failure immediately. You're one out of four thousand that make it past the first decacycle. I've seen someone attack an officer just so they'd get shot. Anyway, the curve slows down after that, but only ten percent of the initial survivors live through the next vorn. So yes, to me you're on a deathbed. And I'll do my damnedest to make you that ten percent. Even if it means grating on your circuits."

Oh. Starscream blinked at Jazz. Those were bad odds, indeed. Not that he'd never beaten worse. "Still doesn't make sense why Prime would want to come see me."

Jazz laughed. "I like you. Anyway, Optimus has never really met a Seeker before, since Megatron is handling all the military contacts. He's curious, and he's also got a protective streak a mile wide. Let's say you've become a project of his. He's pretty… perseverant, though, so don't you worry."

Jazz signaled for the orderly, and Starscream was taken away without being able to offer his opinion on the matter.

He sat on his berth for the rest of the afternoon and watched as his chrono marked the passage of time. He was interrupted once by the medic, who took a few scans but let him otherwise be, unlike the previous orns. "I'm glad you decided to join us," the medic said, too.

* * *

IV

The orderly fetched Starscream to meet Prime shortly before sundown.

"Hello, Starscream. I'm sorry I couldn't make it sooner."

"It's not like I asked for you to come. Sir." Starscream took a few steps to get the table between them.

"Drop the formality, please. And Jazz said you were rather suspicious about me coming to see you."

Starscream couldn't help a smirk. "Nice to see people are talking behind my back again."

"You're bound and determined to make this difficult, aren't you." Prime smiled. "Jazz had a certain need to commiserate after everything that happened this orn."

"Really."

"I believe he can't decide between being absolutely ecstatic and worrying about you."

Starscream searched Prime's severe face for some hint of a lie. "He can't possibly be that affected."

"He is." Prime frowned. "Why don't you believe that someone actually cares about what happens to you?"

Starscream shook his head. He had ninety one vorns of experience on that particular matter; there was no point in arguing with Prime, with his picture perfect family unit and sheltered life.

"We'll leave that for later, then. So. I'm glad you're better."

Starscream raised his optic ridges at him. "Who said I was better?"

"The first time we met, you asked me if you were dead yet."

Ah. Starscream frowned. What was Prime talking about?

"See what I mean."

"I was pleasantly numb back then."

"I think I'd rather feel pain than being so totally out of control."

"Shut it." How dare he. "You don't know pain like that."

"No." Prime sighed. "I'm sorry, I was out of line."

Prime was apologizing. To Starscream. To a Seeker. After being mouthed off at by said Seeker. It was as if Starscream had stepped into some kind of utopian novel. "Mh." He couldn't bring himself to accept the apology, though.

"We really started off on a bad note. What is it that irks you about me being here?"

Did he really have to ask. "I'm a bad choice of charity project."

"Huh." Prime seemed actually puzzled by this. "You're not a charity project." He began to pace, hands clasped behind his back, and Starscream waited for him to sort through whatever he wanted to say. "I'm certainly not going to parade you around and expect you to play the grateful part for the media. I don't get elected, I have little need for that kind of publicity." Prime stopped in his rounds. "I have several reasons for being here. Prowl made quite the case on you, so I was curious. I'm still curious. Your research project sounds absolutely fascinating. You certainly don't act like most minors I knew, including myself." He smiled and looked rather young at that moment. "I'm just lucky Jazz declared me the closest thing to a peer group for you he had available. He probably believes you need some contact that isn't your new foster parents."

Prime had a sense of humor. Who'd have thunk. "What will you do once there's nothing to learn about me anymore?"

"Even my brother manages to surprise me, and I've known him for two hundred and eighty vorns now. Besides, I don't bore that easily."

Well. There were words, and then there were actions. Starscream would just have wait and see what happened. Besides, Prime was probably the most useful connection anyone could have. "Alright, then."

"Good. The medic allowed me to bring some energon treats. Want one?"

Prime unsubspaced the container and set it on the table.

Starscream took that as a tacit invitation to sit, and picked up one of the treats. Prime followed, seemingly relieved.

They munched in silence for a while – these things were good, with some exquisite sweet sour taste Starscream had never had before – until the orange orderly came in and said visiting joors were over for this orn. He let Starscream take the container with the leftovers without comment.

Prime promised to be back with more treats the next evening.

Although Starscream really wasn't all that hungry after the treats, he still refueled like a good little patient when the medic came in with his evening energon. He could tell the mech was relieved that he didn't have to talk Starscream through it like the previous orns.

After that, Starscream examined the treats. They had a blue shimmer, cobalt or some chloride, maybe, and must have been insanely expensive. Way to bribe himself into Starscream's good graces.

Skyfire had always teased him mercilessly about his penchant for anything sweet.

Starscream swallowed around a knot forming in his throat. No more teasing, because the only mech who'd ever bothered to get to know him that well was dead.

He flung the treat at the wall, where it exploded with a satisfying splat. He shouldn't be thinking about fragging sweets when his bondmate was dead.

Stalking over to his window, he stood there and watched the area grow darker as the night shifts began in the factories. Most of the streetlights went out, and he had a good view of the starry sky. It would take a joor until Cybertron had turned enough for him to see the pale yellow little star on whose third planet Skyfire was buried.

It was a joke, really. The planet looked rather harmless from space, fragile, even, and was certainly the prettiest of the nine that were scattered in that system, given its unusual blue color.

Starscream stood there till lights out, and now was usually the time when the medic or an orderly would make him drink some sedative laced energon to make him recharge.

No one bothered him tonight, though. He stood at the window until sunrise made the little yellow star disappear.

xxx

Jazz was back in the morning, with a silver mech called Crosswise in tow. Crosswise was a lawyer and seemed halfway competent. He left after asking a barrage of questions.

"So," Jazz said. "I dare say he'll do."

Starscream nodded. "You found him pretty quickly."

"Well, I do happen to have some contacts, so it took me only two joors."

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

"I took a few orns off work so we could get this show on the road," Jazz said calmly.

"You shouldn't bother." He'd die anyway.

"We've been over that, kid."

"I'm not your fragging kid."

Jazz shuttered his optics and cycled air for a moment. "Well, I'd like to think that signature of yours from last orn makes us family by choice. Which means that I do consider you my kid. I'll give you some leeway 'cause you don't actually know what it's like to have parents –"

"How absolutely generous of you."

"I know this was kinda thrown on you without you asking for it, but please don't –"

"Don't what? I'm not here to fulfill your emotional needs."

Jazz slumped in his chair and looked rather defeated. "Kid. I am trying to be helpful. What's gotten into you?"

Starscream folded his arms and glared at Jazz. "I don't have to explain myself to you."

"Of course not. May I guess you're angry?"

Wow. What a deduction.

"What did I do?"

Amazing how Jazz could go from dead center to so far off target.

"So it wasn't me? Optimus, maybe?"

Well, he'd brought the treats.

"You know what? I'll just leave it at that. I'll tell Optimus you're in a snit, and I'll drop by next orn to see if you're more agreeable."

"Emotional blackmail now?"

"No, I just pretty much need time to cool down, and I don't want you to take it out on someone you shouldn't really aggravate."

"Whatever."

Jazz called in the orderly, and Starscream was escorted back to his cell with a rather unfriendly grip on his shoulder.

The medic was waiting in his cell. "Morning. I gather you and Jazz had a fight?"

"I wouldn't call it a fight."

"No. You're very good at not resorting to yelling, aren't you?"

Starscream narrowed his optics.

"What exactly are you angry about?" The medic pointed to the energon treat still clinging to the wall. "Skyfire? You're allowed to be angry at him for a while. Because he was stupid enough to put himself in danger. Because he didn't take you with him."

"It wasn't his fault." Twisted logic the big oaf had, he probably thought he did Starscream a favor by setting him free.

"It wasn't yours, either."

Starscream shook his head. Of course it was his fault.

"No, it wasn't, but it will take you a good long while to understand that. So. Let me guess that you're angry at yourself?"

Starscream blinked at him. Was he?

"Not because it's your fault. That's a different kind of anger. Or should I say, guilt. Slow, eating at you like rust. But it wouldn't make you throw things, I dare say."

"You wouldn't get it anyway."

"Maybe. But I do deal with angry people a lot. Most inmates here are angry in one way or another."

"Whatever."

"If you like. Let me just dispense some general advice, alright? You're allowed to heal. In fact, it's necessary for you to let him go one step at a time. You don't have to sit on your bunk moping all orn to be grieving properly. Don't hate yourself if you find yourself distracted or actually enjoying something."

Right. "Big load of help that is."

"Just think about it. I know you're clever, you'll be able to figure it out. Oh, and someone will be by with some cleaning equipment later. I expect you to have removed that mess when I'm doing my afternoon check."

* * *

V

"… and the doc said it was normal and I shouldn't take it to spark, but I really began doubting my choice there."

Optimus nodded when Jazz ended his rant. "Starscream is pretty good at turning every information on someone into a weapon."

"Pit, yeah." Jazz sank back into the visitors chair in Optimus's office and sighed. "I begin to understand why everyone at the Academy hated him."

"He's probably very used to being rejected, so he's pushing everyone away as some kind of preemptive measure."

Jazz gave him a look that said hah-slagging-hah. "I know that. It's classical Prowl behavior. No. I guess I was just shocked that he lay into me like that after being so mellow last orn."

"Blowtorch thinks it's because he's feeling guilty he forgot about his pain for a bit?"

"Exactly."

"And he's consulted various psychology texts and thinks this will happen for a while longer until Starscream lets go enough."

"Yup."

"Well, it's progress."

Jazz sighed again. "Yeah. I just wish it would be happening a bit faster, and I weren't on the receiving end."

"I'll go tonight."

"You really shouldn't."

"I said I'd bring him more treats. Let's see what he does about them."

"It's your sanity."

xxx

Optimus deposited the container with the sweets on the table while he waited for the orderly to fetch Starscream. He wasn't particularly afraid for his sanity, and Starscream's honesty, hurtful as it could be, had an almost refreshing effect.

He was actually looking forward to the snark after having his diplomatic skills tested by arguing with the Transportation Committee all afternoon, and having another evening of socializing to attend to tonight.

"Jazz didn't warn you?" Starscream asked without bothering with a greeting when he finally entered.

"Good evening to you, too. And yes, he did give me a heads up, only I decided not to heed it."

Starscream tilted his head as if to assess him. "Do you consider that courage or stupidity?"

Optimus smiled. "Neither. I did promise to come back, so I'd call it minding my duty. I'd have at least sent you a message if I wasn't able to make it."

"Some might say you're wasting your concept of honor on a Seeker."

That kid had an unhealthy opinion of himself. "I'll repeat that it's not me who has to worry about popularity polls. Now, sit down, please, I'm going to have to stand around half the night making inane small talk as it is."

"Heh." There was a ghost of a smile on Starscream's face for just a nanoklik. "You don't call our conversations inane?"

"Not at all. You're too witty to make this inane." Optimus plopped down on one of the free chairs and pushed the container with the sweets towards Starscream.

Starscream stared at the things before picking one and nibbling carefully.

"Speaking of that. Is there anything I can do for you and Jazz?"

"I wasn't aware we needed couple therapy."

Optimus laughed. "I'll mark the orn I get a straight answer from you. If it's any help, he's not one to hold a grudge, and I dare say he's forgiven you already."

"One should think he'd want an apology."

"He's probably better off without one if you're not really sorry."

For a while, Starscream just nibbled at the energon goodie. "I'm not sure," he said when he was finished.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Starscream took another sweet.

"Alright. But consider saving some of these for him, they make an excellent peace offering."

"Hmm." Starscream stared at his half eaten goodie. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good. Now, will you tell me about your research?"

Starscream munched a bit, staring at the wall. "Do you remember the upheaval in the scientific community when Nozzle proved the existence of carbon based life forms?"

"Of course."

"He found them on a meteorite covered in burnt organic matter. They replicate if you put them in water and feed them certain organic compounds, although simple chemicals like dyes seem to be detrimental, as are most organic solvents. There seems to be no point to their existence other than replicating, though."

"And?"

"Skyfire and I…," he trailed off and sighed. "We were assigned to the group studying their various components. Their replication process is incredibly complex. Which led us to the question – if it's so complex, things are bound to go wrong sometime, leading to a mutation of sorts. So there's probably more than one species around."

Optimus nodded. Fascinating indeed. "That's a good question. I doubt anyone has thought about this before."

"We were going to make it our master thesis, originally. Then Skyfire got it into his CPU that there were probably more complex species around somewhere, maybe even intelligent life. Since we were looking for a planet with high humidity anyway, we figured we might as well do something really spectacular."

"I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have been indulging his delusions of grandeur."

"Wouldn't you have approached that planet anyway?"

Starscream frowned. "Of course. I was being reckless." He folded his arms and hunched over a little.

"You couldn't have expected such an unfriendly atmosphere."

Starscream sighed.

"Have you ever considered continuing that research?"

"Have I what?"

"You were exploring a truly new field. It would be a shame not to pursue it."

Starscream glared at Optimus as if he'd suggested he should dance on Skyfire's corpse. "I can't do that."

"No? You'd let all your work be picked up by someone else who is likely not to even mention you two?"

Looking truly distressed, Starscream stood up and began pacing. "I can't," he said eventually and stopped to stare at Optimus with wild optics.

"Why not? Once you get out of here, you'll need something to do. Apart from that it's always wise to finish school."

"You don't get it." Starscream shook his head. "I can't."

"I will continue to not 'get it' if you don't bother explaining." Why was this so difficult, anyway?

Starscream threw up his hands and plopped back down on his chair. "He's dead."

Ah. This was a tie-in with the tantrum this morning. "You're not."

Optimus cringed as Starscream's fist hit the table.

"I know!"

"And the world didn't stop."

"It should have," Starscream hissed. "It should have." He looked so defeated suddenly.

Carefully Optimus reached across the table, unfolded Starscream's fist and began rubbing his thumb across the palm, just so Starscream remembered he wasn't alone.

"I'm sorry. I just think that he wouldn't want you to turn into a hermit for the rest of your life."

Starscream tugged his hand out of Optimus's grasp. "I can't think about that yet."

"Take your time, then."

They sat in silence until the orderly came in, declaring visiting joors were over now.

The medic, Blowtorch, was waiting outside for Prime.

"That was longer than twenty breems," Optimus stated. He hadn't really noticed before, but it would be a close cut to the reception later.

"I was watching and decided it unwise to interrupt. I'm in the vague hope that one orn, he'll trust one of you enough to actually cry."

"He didn't yet?"

"Not to my knowledge. He's a Seeker, he's probably learned not to do anything that can be perceived as a weakness."

"It's not right, what we're doing to them."

Blowtorch raised his optic ridges at him. "There's a great many things not right on Cybertron."

"I know." Optimus shook his head. "I am working on it."

xxx

"You're late," Megatron said, when Optimus finally made it to the party.

"And I'm not repentant in the least, so you may spare me the lecture."

"I had to improvise a speech. You owe me."

"Agreed." Impromptu speeches were murder. "I dare say Idioma wasn't helpful?"

"You know him. He probably had the time of his life watching me make a fool of myself."

"I need to talk to him." Having a speechwriter was sometimes more trouble than it was worth. Given his talent for words, Megatron always wrote his own speeches, which was practical, but was probably an offense to the secret brotherhood of speechwrits. Which was why Idioma had developed an unhealthy dislike of Megatron.

"Before you go running off, I need to talk to you, slaghead. People are asking where you're always disappearing to."

"Always? It's been three times so far." Optimus sipped at his high grade.

"And you're planning more of the same."

"Yes. I promised Jazz."

"Can you start at the beginning, please?"

Ah yes, they really hadn't had much time to discuss anything the past orns. "Remember how I told you Jazz was looking into becoming the legal guardian of that Seeker we were discussing."

"Ye-es."

"He went through with it. However, it turned out that the lost researcher was actually the kid's bondmate."

Megatron frowned. "That's not possible."

Optimus swirled his drink. "Well. It happens, though the odds are nearly insurmountable. Most survivors have a strong death wish, and Jazz is doing what he can to counteract it. He asked me to see Starscream once an orn so the kid knows there are people who actually want him to survive."

"You're insane. You and Jazz. It'd be more merciful to just let the kid die."

"Jazz thinks Skyfire –"

"The lost researcher?"

"Yes. Jazz believes that he set Starscream free or something like that, so he'd survive. And I think Starscream's accepted he's going to live some more, even if he's currently rather unwilling to consider his future."

"You two are setting yourself up to get hurt, you know that?"

"The chances are twenty thousand to one. But he's a Seeker, he's strong."

"Nothing I say will convince you otherwise. I might as well talk to the wall. Just don't expect me to be sympathetic when the inevitable happens."

Optimus should have really known better than to expect sympathy for things like that from Megatron. "Sometimes you're frighteningly pragmatic."

"I'd prefer sensible, thank you."

"Optimus." This was Mirage, just in time to save them from an argument. "You can't let yourself be hogged by your brother like that. There are other people who'd like to talk to you."

A hand tugged at his arm, and he was led over to a group of mechs he'd never seen before.

"May I introduce you to some old friends…"

xxx

The next orn passed quickly. Jazz called once and complained that Starscream was being too quiet, but relaxed somewhat after Optimus told him about their conversation.

Starscream was still being quiet in the evening, but graciously accepted a datapad with the latest news Optimus had been allowed to bring.

He skimmed the headlines while Optimus was left to his own devices.

"Didn't like the party?" Starscream asked suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

Starscream held up the datapad, which had a picture of Optimus and Mirage. _Wishing for some alone time?_ The headline asked, referring to Optimus's rather sour expression. _These two might soon have to be deleted from the list Cybertron's ten most eligible singles._

"I was running late and had an argument with my brother about it. And then the densest Towers mech around thought I needed to socialize. No. I did not enjoy the party."

"Don't you like parties in general, or was it just this one?"

"I prefer getting drunk with a few friends and some decent conversation."

"Heh. You have the wrong job, then."

Starscream took the datapad back, and Optimus watched as he read. By the speed he moved his finger over the screen, it was obvious he was a very fast reader, like Prowl.

Making a mental note to tell Jazz about that, Optimus leaned back to enjoy the relative peace.

xxx

After that, things fell into some kind of uncomfortable routine. The Court of Appeals was taking its sweet time to decide whether Starscream's case deserved to be re-examined, and Jazz calling once an orn asking about the progress didn't serve to make them work faster.

According to Blowtorch, Starscream was in a funk most of the time, sitting on his berth or staring out the window all night. It didn't worry the medic too much, but Jazz was unable to stop fretting, which in turn caused Prowl to call Optimus and complain about Jazz.

After a decacycle Prowl decided things couldn't quite go on like that.

"Prowl wants to know if you play Quattra," Optimus said after Starscream had sat down.

Starscream frowned. "Why his sudden interest in me?"

"He's realized he's been a little remote these past orns."

"Absent, more like."

"He can't really take much time off. But he's asked to take over the evenings, because Jazz is currently driving him to distraction with his worrying, and he's afraid you'll suffer ill effects. I'll see if I can schedule visits here around midday, but I might not be able to make it every orn."

"And just why do you people assume I want to see all of you every orn?"

"Would you rather we left you alone?"

Starscream tilted his head. "Sometimes."

"Jazz can be a little overbearing."

"That's an understatement. I suppose it's a compliment that he's upset about absolutely everything I do, or don't do, for that matter."

Optimus smiled. At least Starscream accepted that Jazz actually cared. "I'll talk to him and ask him to tone it down a bit, if you like. He's just got very little to do at the moment, given it will be at least three orns more until the court makes a decision."

"I'd appreciate that. And I can live with two visitors per orn just fine."

"Indeed. Aren't you getting bored?"

"No." Starscream turned his head to look at wall.

Optimus watched him closely. Starscream was better left alone now. He probably wouldn't say anything until Optimus had to leave, but that was alright. Starscream currently seemed to have a limited number of words per day, and Jazz needed to hear Starscream speak more than Optimus did.

* * *

VI

Jazz didn't look like he'd recharged well when Starscream was let into the meeting room the next morning.

"Hey, kid." Jazz smiled.

"Morning." Starscream sprawled onto his chair. "You look like slag."

Jazz laughed. "Thanks. Had a bad night. Optimus called and you know what you told him to tell me."

"He offered."

"He did?"

Figured Optimus Prime wouldn't always be straightforward. "Three bonding sessions per orn are about the most I can take."

As expected, Jazz sunk into himself. Truly a pitiful display, but there was a twinge of guilt somewhere in Starscream's fuel tanks.

"I need time to process all of this," he allowed.

Jazz blinked at him and sat upright again. "Sometimes I can be pretty daft. Sorry. I was smothering you, wasn't I?"

"A little."

"Enough for you to complain to Optimus. Will you complain to me the next time something like that comes up? He's Prime, he won't always be able to run interference."

Optimus was easier to talk to than Jazz, because he didn't want results the orn before last. And he didn't have the talent to rub him raw with the least possible amount of words. "I'll try."

"Thank you." Jazz smiled. "Now, will you tell me how you are? And 'fine' and raised optic ridges don't count. I've had enough of these the past five orns, really."

"Nobody wants an honest answer when they ask that question."

"I do."

"Alright. If you'll answer the question first." Jazz was always so adamant to find out about Starscream, but he didn't really talk about himself much. Starscream didn't even know where his new foster parents lived, for Primus' sake.

"Blackmail material for blackmail material?" Jazz asked. "Deal?"

"Deal."

"Right. I'm pretty much a nervous wreck. Intellectually, I know the Court of Appeals takes between one and two decacycles to process a request, sometimes more. So we are still in the timeframe, but I hate waiting like that. I don't have anything better to do, because Crosswise wants to wait to put together a strategy until he knows who the judge and the attorney of state will be. I've been puttering about the apartment and Prowl's told me in no uncertain terms he'll have me committed if I don't calm down." Another of those wry grins. "And then Optimus calls and tells me you want me to cut my visits short, if not table them completely. So, yeah. I'm not well. But I'm a bit better, now that you've explained."

Starscream nodded. This hadn't sounded like a lie, and he was rather adept at noticing those.

"So?" Jazz prompted eventually.

"I…," Starscream began. "I'm better than I was. I think. At least I don't have any black holes in my memory anymore. But I'm still surprised to wake up from recharge. If I recharge." Why did he have such a hard time answering one stupid question? Jazz had done it. Optimus Prime was glad to give him pieces of his life if he asked. Starscream shook his head.

"Kid. Look at me?"

Starscream did, even though he had no idea why Jazz would want to have anything to do with such a pathetic little flier.

"You really miss him, don't you."

That was the synopsis, yes. Starscream still expected to wake up next to Skyfire in the morning. Or that a big white form would come lumbering around the corner and smile at him. He'd hallucinate Skyfire's opinion on the newspads Optimus brought him and on the adventure novels Jazz had dug up. But Skyfire wasn't there, and Starscream spent most of his time wishing he'd come back.

"Shh. Let me hold you a bit?"

Starscream nodded, but didn't bother to look until two careful arms around his shoulders coaxed him to lean forward so his face rested against Jazz's bumper.

Jazz caressed lazy lines over his helm and made soft clicking noises, something Starscream had never heard before, but they made him feel protected, insane as it was.

Eventually Jazz loosened his grip and retreated after placing a kiss on the top of Starscream's head. "Better?"

Starscream sighed. "A little."

"Good. Now, I have two questions for you. I asked around the Academy, and I've found out your stuff is in storage, but Skyfire's creators came in and took his. You were his bondmate, that means you have more rights to his things than they do. Just, think about how you want to handle that once we have you out of here. I can contact them if you want. Second. If you decide to return to the Academy, they have to offer you a place in the dorms. I won't mind if you move there, but Prowl and I have a room to spare, if you'd like to put some space between yourself and the other students. Just think about it, right?"

More things to think about. Starscream nodded. Gods, Skyfire's creators would blow a fuse each when they learned that their creation's obnoxious boyfriend had actually been a bondmate.

"Alright then. I'll drop by tomorrow?"

Starscream nodded and was rewarded with another kiss on his head.

"I'll spoil you rotten if you're not careful," Jazz said. "See you."

xxx

Starscream spent the rest of the morning looking out of the window. Around noon, the medic came in and said Optimus Prime wouldn't be able to make it, but he'd sent a courier with the daily news. Starscream was presented with the pad, and the medic left him to his own devices. For lack of something better to do, Starscream read the news – Jazz had been right, Dean Alkali was in a precarious position right now. Prowl's mechs had apparently been able to dig up a surprising amount of dirt.

Starscream kept staring at his little library of novels and outdated news until it was time for his afternoon check.

Shortly after that, the orange orderly came to fetch him, because Prowl had arrived.

The mech had retreated behind the table, his sensor panels quivering slightly. He offered a very tight smile. "Hello, Starscream."

"Evening."

"We've never really talked, haven't we? I'm sorry about that. But Jazz is a lot more approachable than I am, therefore I decided to hold back until you're halfway comfortable with him."

"But you changed your mind."

"That I did. Have a seat, please?"

Starscream decided to play along and sat.

Prowl did, too. "The vibes my bondmate currently is emitting are enough to put even me on edge. He's missed his calling as an advisor, but two therapy sessions per orn might be a bit much for you."

Starscream raised his optic ridges.

"I'm afraid I'm sometimes missing the finer nuances, otherwise I would have intervened earlier. You never answered Optimus's question, though. Do you play Quattra?"

"I've had the rules explained to me once. But neither Skyfire – neither of us was upper class enough to own a board or play."

Prowl smiled. "I didn't learn it either until a neighbor took pity on my underprivileged young self. It's a fascinating game. Unlike with any other, you do not depend on luck in the least. Just on your own intelligence. Care for a match?"

"You brought a board?"

"Being the Chief of the Iacon Police Department has some perks." Prowl unsubspaced a board. "Will you set this up for us?"

Way to test if Starscream's memory was correct. He did, though, activating the hologram, nudging the pieces into their correct corners, and then Prowl made him open the game.

Starscream lost in five moves.

"Do you know why you lost?" asked Prowl.

And so Starscream thought it through aloud, and they tried again. And again.

"You're a fast learner," Prowl said as an orderly came to fetch Starscream when it was time for his evening energon. "I'll be back next orn."

It was only after lights out that Starscream realized he'd forgotten about Skyfire over the game.

He sat on his berth, hugging his knees. How could he? It was an insult to Skyfire's memory, and Starscream shouldn't even be able to forget about him for that long. It shouldn't be physically possible, but he'd just done it, and it was wrong, wrong, wrong.

Prowl had wanted to distract him, yes, and Starscream had let himself be distracted, when he shouldn't have, like he got distracted by Prime's energon treats and the news and Jazz's novels, and every time he came out with a bad conscience and swore it wouldn't happen again, but it did.

Why were they trying to distract him, anyway? Jazz had even brought his books "in case you need some distraction," as if it were perfectly normal to get distracted, desirable even.

Some treacherous part inside Starscream must crave it, of course, craved Jazz's easy laugh and Prime's rants about the senate and his brother, and was even looking forward to a new round of getting beaten at Quattra.

Starscream was so sick and tired of having to berate himself for slipping up.

Maybe… maybe the medic was right, and it was normal. What did he call it? Letting go. Yes. It was a phrase you heard very often, read often, and they made it sound so very easy, as if it were a conscious decision, but they never really explained what it meant.

Or that it was hard, so hard, when they all pushed you to think about a future you couldn't even imagine you'd survive to see.

That was an illusion, of course. Starscream's spark had refused to gutter out when it should have, because a it was a Seeker's spark, and, in Skyfire's words, _built to resist_. And so Starscream would survive, but Skyfire had also once said that _surviving isn't living_.

He'd have to remember how to live, then.

Perhaps that was what they all were doing – trying to help him remember.

* * *

VII

After that orn, Prowl came by every evening, and they'd play, with Prowl inevitably winning. Prowl seemed to have very little interest in conversation other than discussing tactics and strategy if he felt Starscream needed it, and Starscream had to give it to him – the game was fascinating. Besides that, he managed to hold his own against Prowl a little longer each time, which caused Prowl to compliment him more often than not.

Starscream was aware their matches rated as bonding time, but Prowl was wonderfully unobtrusive about it, merely providing entertainment and not angling for any emotional response.

Things settled down, and six orns after Starscream had nearly scared off Jazz, said mech came bouncing into the meeting room, followed by Crosswise, announcing that they had a "date with justice".

"They already set a date?" No institution should be working that fast.

"They did," Crosswise said. "In almost three decacycles. We have more than enough time. Now. Do you have a few breems? I'd like to brief you on what I know and what I'm planning to do."

"I have nothing but time," Starscream said.

"Very well, then." Crosswise sat and unsubspaced a datapad, only to wave it imperiously for Jazz and Starscream to find a seat. "We've been assigned to Judge Axiom. He's conservative, in a religious way. I know he's donating for Youngling Homes and such, so he'll probably be sympathetic, if only because Alkali didn't do his duty. Attorney of state will be Unhand. He likes drama, so I expect him to bring in Skyfire's creators. It's of utmost importance he doesn't find out you've been bonded to Skyfire until the trial, otherwise he'll do his best to discredit everyone who'll be able to corroborate this.

"As witnesses, I'll call the medic who treated you when you returned from the excursion. Quickfix, I believe. Then Dean Alkali, because he was the first to question you, and the police officer that was brought in. I gather he was merely supposed to record that Skyfire was most likely dead, but Alkali might have influenced him to turn it into an actual investigation. Then one of the wardens here at the Penitentiary. Optimus Prime, and lastly, Blowtorch. Did I forget anyone?"

"I have no idea," Starscream said. He'd been totally out of it, after all, otherwise he wouldn't even be in this mess.

"I think you've covered every possible approach," Jazz said. "Except Starscream."

"That's a given. I was planning to set it up so that you'd be questioned before Optimus Prime. By that time, they all will be sufficiently sure something was very wrong with you, and you shouldn't have been put on trial without a qualified examination declaring you fully responsible."

Starscream nodded. He hadn't even registered he'd been on trial until he'd woken up in the courtroom one orn. "That looks like it's going to be dramatic as well."

"I'm merely providing a bit of suspense. I'm not looking to make anyone shout or break down. So. I'm sure Unhand will bring in Skyfire's creators, Dean Alkali, and someone you've worked with. Someone must have started the rumor of you trying to steal Skyfire's credentials, after all. He'll also try to prove that the investigation was sound. If I am correct, he'll be quite shocked by our revelation, and he'll try to pick holes into your testimony until you break. I'll coach you on this. I won't be allowed to influence the witnesses, but I'd like to have them think over their reasoning very carefully. Better they admit to selfish motives before Unhand makes them.

"Lastly, he'll try to bring in a psychologist, so we won't bother with one. Unhand's expert will be paid no matter what his results are, so we don't have to worry about anything, unless you've been a real good actor these past six decacycles."

That didn't make any sense. "Wouldn't it have been more wise to actually tell people I was bonded if I wanted to get away with murder? If Prime hadn't been so curious, I'd be someone else now, regardless of the acting."

"You're too sharp for your own good," Jazz grumbled.

"Try to pretend you're thinking about this kind of question before you sprout comments like that," Crosswise said. "Now. Unhand will ask a liberal number of questions about your relationship with Skyfire, beginning from the day you met. He'll be most interested why you two didn't tell anyone about the bond. You could have told a medic, they have to keep their patients' secrets, after all."

Starscream frowned.

"You don't have to answer this now. On here is a list of the most obvious questions." Crosswise produced another datapad and pushed it towards Starscream. "I want you to think about the answers. In five orns, I'll be back and we can discuss them."

"Sure."

"Do you have any more questions? I know you never were assigned a defense attorney for the first round, so there's probably many things that are unclear."

Funny. "I wouldn't know," Starscream said. "But I'll make use of my right to pester you if I can think of any."

Crosswise smiled and left, citing another client.

"So… why doesn't he just ask these questions himself?" Starscream asked, picking at the datapad.

"I discussed it with him and we figured you'd prefer it this way," Jazz said. "You'd have to tell him things you haven't even told me. This is just a chance to prepare for them in private where you can zone out and break down without someone watching. If you want, we can go over them together, if not, that's alright, too."

Those last few words had probably taken a lot out of Jazz – Starscream was positive the mech was nearly dying of curiosity. "Thanks for the offer, but I'd like to have a look at it myself first," he said anyway.

Jazz blinked, but managed to mask his disappointment quite well. "Good. I'll be back tomorrow." He stood up to give Starscream a hug. "Just promise me you'll tell the medic if you need anything."

Starscream squeezed back. "I will."

xxx

Back in his cell, he curled up on the berth to have a look to those ominous questions. Some were easy – they'd met on moving day because some kind spark at the student administration had decided to have the only two flyers in the entire Academy share a dorm. They'd hit it off and proceeded to do almost everything together. After that, it had taken Starscream a ridiculously long time to figure out what this odd giddiness meant when Skyfire was smiling at him, and even longer to realize that Skyfire had been crushing on him almost from the get go.

Almost three vorns, lost time all around.

Starscream put the datapad away and lost himself in memory until the orderly came to fetch him to meet Optimus Prime.

Prime's visits were always short now, provided he turned up at all. He'd present Starscream with more reading material and ask after his wellbeing. If Starscream was lucky, he'd get an answer when he asked back. This orn, Prime was too happy to hear about the progress with the Court to be a source of interesting information. He even looked ready to hug Starscream, but seemed to think better of it.

And so Starscream returned to his cell and the datapad of doom.

The easy questions ended behind _When did you two bond?_

Why go through with this immediately? Why didn't you wait until both of you were of age? Why didn't you tell anyone about it? Was this your first serious relationship? What about Skyfire?

So… impertinent. Starscream didn't want to answer these questions. It was nobody's business but his and Skyfire's, and Skyfire had loved him regardless, so it shouldn't matter.

xxx

"Do I have to answer all of the attorney of state's questions ?" Starsccream asked Prowl before the mech could even unsubspace the Quattra set.

"It's usually wise." Prowl tilted his head in inquiry. "There are a few exceptions, of course. You're entitled to your privacy. The frequency of your interfaces with Skyfire or any previous affairs you might have had are totally beside the point. Crosswise also has the right to stop questions he feels are only a distraction or serve to unsettle you. I know Crosswise left you a list. I didn't think he'd put that kind of question in there."

"I'm not sure. Does anyone have to ask why we bonded?"

Prowl frowned. "You knew each other for how long? Six vorns in total? Jazz and I didn't bond until eleven vorns after we got together, and we're considered to be on the faster side. That means you two were in a veritable hurry. Both Crosswise and the attorney of state might figure that something happened, that either Skyfire was pressuring you or the other way round."

Oh. Starscream looked at the floor.

"Did you?"

"He brought it up first," Starscream said, but didn't dare look at Prowl.

Prowl sighed. "But it could be construed as you taking advantage. Am I correct?"

"No!" Starscream stared at Prowl, who seemed mildly sympathetic. "I can't explain. I… he offered."

"And while most mechs would have laughed it off as being premature, or would have even been afraid at the speed, you agreed."

Starscream nodded. He'd known all that, too, but he'd been so glad.

Prowl rose and came walking over to him, to stand beside him and stroke his arm, like Jazz had done a while ago.

"You've never touched me before."

"I got the impression you liked that I kept my distance. Both Jazz and Optimus are more on the tactile side, after all."

Starscream shuttered his optics and leaned into Prowl's awkward caress. "He used to touch me all the time," and Primus how he missed it.

"Jazz did that, too, in the beginning. It grated on my circuits after a while."

"I liked it."

"Didn't anyone touch you when you were younger?"

What? Starscream retreated from the touch to the wall. "What kind of question is that?"

"Jazz's touchy-feely inclinations stem from the fact that his creator didn't really appreciate a sparkling's need for bodily contact. You're too old to accept anyone's touch like you do, so I figured you'd suffered from a similar deprivation."

"I didn't. Not quite." No, the older mechs of his unit hadn't been opposed to touching him if the mood struck them. Starscream sank to the ground. "I was just encouraged to misunderstand things."

Prowl blinked. "I'm sorry." He came walking over to sit, cross-legged, on the floor, facing Starscream. He held out a hand, so Starscream offered one of his to be taken and had his hand clasped firmly between Prowl's smaller palms until the orderly came in to declare that visiting joors were over for this orn.

Prowl promised to talk it over with Crosswise, without giving too much information, and then helped Starscream up.

* * *

VIII

After the Court had set the date, time seemed to speed up somewhat, and the orn of the trial was upon them in what seemed to be the blink of an optic.

Since Starscream was a minor, there was no audience allowed, and Optimus had to endure the whole thing vicariously, except for the few breems he was in there, being grilled on his reasoning to come see Starscream in the first place, and coming to visit him in prison so often.

Optimus could tell Attorney Unhand was quite frustrated he hadn't been able to find prove that Optimus had been influencing the Court's decision, the circumstances under which Starscream was being kept, or anything else.

In the end, Judge Axiom had to remind the attorney that Prime currently wasn't on trial, and Optimus was sent outside. He was able to flash a smile at both Starscream and Jazz before he joined the others waiting outside. It was only Skyfire's creators, an Academy underling who'd arrived with Deal Alkali and had probably been told to stay behind and report later, and, lastly, a news reporter. Blowtorch must have arrived while Optimus was in there, and they were only able to exchange brief greetings before Blowtorch was called in.

Questioning the medic took almost half a joor, but then he emerged and smiled.

"I don't think Crosswise is going to bother to call any more witnesses. Unhand is pretty much out of options, and I think he was aware he was arguing a lost cause going in. The whole case against Starscream was sloppily built, and it only worked because the kid wasn't able to comprehend what was happening. It also wouldn't have worked if Alkali had bothered to petition the city for an assigned counsel."

Optimus nodded, and was aware of Skyfire's family watching them curiously. They weren't totally out of the loop, according to Jazz. He'd called them on Starscream's behalf and explained things. They'd reacted badly, accepting the fact after much argument, but effectively forbidding Starscream to ever set foot into their home.

Still, they had been somewhat awed when Optimus had arrived shortly before the trial began, so Optimus deduced Jazz hadn't warned them about his involvement. He'd gone over to express his sympathies, of course, but they'd been both somewhat dumbstruck and angry, so he'd decided not to impose on them.

"Starscream is all packed up. I'll send his things to storage so you can fetch them later," Blowtorch said eventually.

"You're that sure?"

"Of course. I showed some of the surveillance feed and scan results and I had some textbooks at hand to prove my conclusions. There's nothing you could argue about. So. I have to get back to work."

"This is it," Optimus concluded. "Thanks for everything."

"It was my pleasure. Really. I've been actually able to help the kid. That's more than I can say about my usual patients. They get into fights, I patch them up and not a decacycle later they've gotten into a new fight and return with other wounds."

"Your job sounds rather depressing."

"It's not. Occasionally I get someone like Starscream who'll actually appreciate I'm a counselor. And some of those get out on parole and don't return."

Optimus nodded. "May you have more patients like Starscream, then."

"Thanks. And take care."

So, now Optimus was alone with a silent Academy spy, a bored journalist and two hostile shuttles. Great. Adding to that, there were no sounds from inside the courtroom for another half a joor, and he had to withstand the urge to pace.

Finally, the door opened and a guard peeked out.

"You may enter for the verdict," he told them, and they all took the opportunity to file in and find a seat.

Crosswise looked happy enough, as did Jazz and Prowl, only Starscream seemed slightly dazed.

They were told to stand when Judge Axiom entered, and he beckoned them to sit down.

"In the case of Starscream versus the citizens of Cybertron, I've come to the following decision: it was successfully proven that the accused was sparkbonded to his alleged victim. Since no mech would kill his bondmate willingly, the accused is cleared of all charges."

He nodded, stood and everyone scrambled to their feet as he exited.

Once the door had closed behind the judge, Jazz gave a hoot of triumph and skipped over to where Starscream was sitting, apparently overwhelmed by the turn of events.

It was a little odd to see Starscream be cuddled by the much smaller mech, but in the end, he regained his composure and wriggled out of Jazz's hug. It was then that Prowl wandered over, and they discussed something or other.

Optimus was left to watch the two attorneys shake hands and see Skyfire's creators huddle together as if they hadn't really believed this would end in an acquittal.

Eventually Crosswise got himself a hug from Jazz, who was by now shaking with long-suppressed nerves. Optimus walked over to them when Crosswise had left, and found himself with an armful of Jazz, too.

"You were great."

"I was doing my civilian duty, Jazz. So. Congratulations, Starscream."

"Eh. It's not like this was my doing." He paused. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"Soo… we were gonna fetch his stuff from the Penitentiary and then move him home to us for the time being," Jazz said. "Wanna join us for a celebratory drink tonight?"

"I'd like that. If you're alright with that, Starscream?"

"Sure."

"Very well then. I'll see if I can get some sweets from the kitchen."

Jazz laughed as Starscream perked up.

Prowl faked a moan. "I'm surrounded by addicts. Primus help me."

"I'll get you on sweets yet," Jazz threatened. "On a more serious note, kid, your in-laws are still here."

Starscream shot them a look and sighed, and whatever happiness he'd felt seemed to dissolve at their sight. "No use putting it off," he said eventually.

Jazz squeezed his hand once before Starscream made himself stand straight and walk over to them.

Despite straining his audios, Optimus had no idea what was said. Skyfire's creators seemed to leave in a huff, at any rate. Obviously they were blaming Starscream for their creation's death, which was somewhat understandable, but it didn't help Starscream, who was already bearing enough guilt on his shoulders. Besides, they seemed to forget that he was hit more by this than they were. Neither of them had spent five decacycles trapped in their own mind, after all.

Optimus had the strong urge to walk over and embrace Starscream, give him someone he could lean on, but he resisted it, because the reporter was still watching and even now approached Starscream.

Much to Optimus's delight, Starscream shook himself out of his funk, gave the offending mech a withering glare, and they were able to leave. It was late afternoon now, and the buildings around the courthouse gleamed. There was not a cloud in the sky, and Starscream stopped to look at it.

"Can I fly to your place?"

"Once we've collected your things from the Penitentiary," Prowl said. "They'll want your signature that everything's complete."

Starscream shifted his weight. "I'll meet you there, then?"

"Didn't they turn off your thrusters?"

"Blowtorch reconnected the circuits this morning."

"Oh. Well." Jazz frowned. "I suppose. It'll take us fifteen breems to drive there, don't be late. And take care."

Starscream shook his head while a smirk crept onto his face. The thrusters at his heels roared to life, he took off, and then he sported an actual smile. He certainly looked happier than Optimus had ever seen him. Optimus couldn't stop looking at his face.

Starscream transformed before rising to flying altitude and doing a few loops, a red and silver streak in the sunlight.

"You might wanna close your mouth now," Jazz said.

Oh. How embarrassing.

"He's impressive, ain't he?"

"He's beautiful."

Jazz chuckled. "That, too. Just be careful around him. He won't be ready to hear that kind of thing for a while yet. And you better keep your paws to yourself until he's of age."

"Excuse me?"

"Kids." Jazz laughed again. "Think about what I said, right?"

He transformed and Prowl followed him without commenting on the matter.

Optimus watched the sky a while longer, and sure enough, Starscream turned up once more and even waggled his wings in greeting. While Optimus watched him until he disappeared behind some building, he wondered when, exactly, he'd started falling for the Seeker.

xxx

Given his recent revelation, what he'd expected to be a nice evening spent with friends offered numerous pitfalls. The memory of Starscream's smile, so rare and breathtaking, hadn't left Optimus since the afternoon, and he knew he'd give anything to have it, and Starscream, around permanently.

"I'm going to try to be accepted back into Nozzle's research group," Starscream offered when asked after his plans for the future.

Optimus couldn't help but beam at him, and Jazz kicked him under the table, probably for being too obvious. If Starscream had noticed the accompanying flinch, he gave no indication of it.

"I wish you the best of luck then. Though I can't imagine they'll refuse either you or your credentials."

Starscream ducked his head as if embarrassed. Their optics met briefly, Optimus's fuel tanks churned at the almost coy look, so he just flashed a smile back and looked away.

It was pathetic to be reduced to a quivering heap by Starscream's mere presence, but he wouldn't miss it for the universe.

* * *

IX

Starscream sat on the floor of his newly appointed room and watched the dawn through the floor to ceiling windows.

Unity Arch Plaza was becoming more busy by the astrosecond, being one of the main thoroughfares for commuters.

Up here on the 48th level, the traffic wasn't that loud, but it wasn't exactly a quiet or wealthy neighborhood, which explained why Jazz and Prowl had been able to afford half a floor with that many windows.

In the Academy, you only ever got lodgings with a window if you (or your creators) paid extra. None of Starscream's living quarters before this one, excluding the cell in the Penitentiary's medbay, had had windows.

This overabundance – one entire wall of his room was made of glass – was almost startling.

It was also the first time – again excluding the Penitentiary – that Starscream was not sharing his quarters.

The furniture wasn't expensive, because this had been filling in as a guestroom, but it was more than he was used to. The berth was against the back wall, there was a desk to the left and a small table with two chairs to the right, plus a few shelves and a cupboard with real, solid, non-see-through shutters where you could actually put things you didn't want other people to see.

You didn't get that kind of luxury with the military.

Jazz had been a bit embarrassed it was so dull, with off-white walls and a gray floor, and had even offered to take Starscream to buy paint for the walls if he didn't like it.

The military usually didn't bother to paint the living quarters of its lowly soldiers, so off-white was a step up.

Starscream had deposited his few belongings onto one of the shelves last night, just before Optimus had arrived, and the datapads were now joined by a half full container of energon treats and a pair of bookends – green, spiky, almost fist sized crystals encased in polyacrylate. The crystals were from one of the mining colonies, Optimus had told them. He'd also called it a small house-warming gift.

Starscream hadn't quite known what to say, because he'd never gotten something this expensive from anyone, if you didn't count the room he was now living in.

A knock on the door interrupted his musings.

"Kid?"

Jazz. Well, he'd said he'd wake Starscream. "I'm up." He climbed to his feet just as the door slid open.

"Didn't you recharge?" There was a deep frown on Jazz's face.

"I woke up early." Which was, for a change, true. "Really," he insisted at Jazz's skeptical look. "It was almost two joors."

"Someone your age should get at least three joors shut-down," Jazz said. "Even I can't really function on less than two."

"I'm a Seeker," Starscream said. "I can function on one."

"Just because you can doesn't mean you should," Jazz admonished. "Now come on, let's get breakfast."

Breakfast had all three of them sitting at the big living room table sipping their morning energon and chatting idly about their plans for the orn. Some friends of Jazz's wanted to come over in the evening and meet Starscream, and maybe a few others would just drop by unannounced, because Jazz had only expressively told them not to last night.

"They're really curious about you," Jazz said.

Starscream nodded. "Well, I'm the freak Seeker." And he should have figured Jazz and Prowl had friends that weren't Optimus.

"You're the brilliant young mech whose foster parents we are," Prowl corrected. "We made that decision a lot faster than we usually do, and we hadn't even thought, much less talked about adopting or anything in that direction before we heard about you. So they are curious. But they're also determined to like you."

Starscream decided not to argue the assessment. Those friends would prove Prowl wrong even if Starscream was on his best behavior.

"So…," Jazz began, "you still planning to go to the Academy later, kid?"

"I'd at least like to get my things from storage."

He refused Jazz's offer to accompany him to the dean, and said he'd call him once he'd actually found his stuff and needed someone to help him transport it.

xxx

The Academy hallways were empty when Starscream arrived, with the first period having started long enough ago even the overhung and overslept had made their way to their respective classes.

The dean had the top floor of the science tower. Starscream took the lift, entered the assistant's office somewhat apprehensively, and found himself in barely controlled chaos. There were two small towers of boxes on either side of the door, and he stepped aside for some workermechs who were just maneuvering Alkali's elaborate desk out of the dean's office.

The PA, Outreach, was hiding behind his own desk and looked rather exasperated for it being so early in the orn.

"Morning," Starscream said to the obnoxious mech. "I'm here to see the dean."

Outreach blinked at him dumbly before catching himself. "Perceptor will be back in a breem."

"Perceptor?"

"Don't you read the news? Alkali resigned last night after some spark wrenching story about you hit the networks. Perceptor will be filling in."

"About time." Though Perceptor wasn't really the best choice for administration, having the strong tendency to get carried away.

"So," Outreach began. "You were Skyfire's bondmate?"

Starscream just looked at him. He wasn't talking about this with someone who'd been determined to ruin every orn he'd had to set foot into this office.

"You shouldn't even be alive."

"I'm hard to kill," Starscream said.

Outreach refrained from further blabbering until Perceptor stepped out of the lift and beamed at them.

"Good morning, Starscream," he said, as if his presence here weren't really unusual. "What brings you here?"

Well, it was Perceptor. "My trial ended in an acquittal," Starscream explained. "So that means the reason I was thrown out of the Academy is nil."

Perceptor blinked at him. "Oh, of course. Come in here, I'll just…," he bustled into the office, and Starscream didn't catch the rest of the sentence.

He followed at a slower pace to find Perceptor sitting on the floor, hacking away at the dataset, which had been placed onto a small box with "explosive" labels.

"I require your student number," Perceptor said.

Starscream gave it to him, surprised he remembered it off the top of his head.

"There. All done." Perceptor hit a key forcibly. "You'll still have to contact the student office about your new contact information."

"Thanks," Starscream said.

"You're quite welcome."

Starscream fled the place then and found the student office on the ground floor.

The two secretaries in there (one for initials A-N, the other for the rest, which was a hilarious example of bureaucracy unless it was one of the orns everyone had to see the office and it turned out that several students from the same half of the alphabet had entered at once) stopped their gossiping to gape at him.

He really should have looked up what that reporter had written about him.

"Morning," he started his routine again. "I moved yesterday and wanted to notify you. I also need a new debit card."

"Oh… yes. Of course. Student number?" The second secretary got to work, seeming slightly puzzled that Starscream was listed as an active student. Eventually he got over it and handed Starscream a datapad with a form to fill out.

There were more things to change – legal guardians and their address, as well as his marital status, where he made a defiant mark at 'other' and added a 'widowed' in explanation.

The secretary blinked again when he uploaded it to the network. "You won't need a place in the dorms?"

"No, thank you. But I'd like to know where my things are. I was told they were put into storage."

"Ah. Yes. Let me see…" It took a while, but eventually he was told to contact his old dorm's manager.

Last but not least, he counted out five of the credit chips Jazz had given him for a new debit card – the energon dispensers at the Academy only worked with those. The secretary also seemed surprised Starscream actually owned cash.

Starscream was rather relieved to be able to escape their barely concealed curiosity and walked out into the sunshine. There, he stared at the sky for a breem or two, so wide open and promising freedom, and then he went on the short flight to his former dorm.

The manager was there, and after checking with the student office, hauled two medium sized collapsible crates from the lower levels. Starscream hadn't been aware he owned enough to fill two crates.

"I want them boxes back by tomorrow," the manager grumbled at him, before he handed them over.

They wouldn't fit into Starscream's subspace, so he carried them out of the dorm to the plaza in front of it, where he sat on one of them while calling Jazz and waiting for him.

One or two stragglers passed as he sat there, but they didn't do more than glower at him. Starscream stood nearly a head taller than most of his fellow students, and he had proven very early in his career that he was quite capable of hurting people without leaving physical evidence, so they'd decided to ignore him and prey on others.

Ten breems later Jazz arrived, smiling and drawing Starscream into a brief hug.

Starscream shook himself free. "What was that about?"

Jazz laughed.

"What?"

"Don't be so indignant. You're just acting like the youngling you are for a change." Jazz seemed actually relieved by that fact.

Starscream shook his head. "Can you take one of the crates?"

"Sure thing."

Jazz subspaced one and looked up at Starscream. "They've really accepted you back?"

"Yes."

"Good. What are you going to do about it?"

"I'll call Nozzle tomorrow about a meeting."

"Right." Jazz didn't point out that Starscream could go talk to Nozzle now. "See you back home, then."

Home, yes.

Starscream nodded, subspaced the crate and took off.

* * *

X

He waited with unpacking until Jazz arrived, who sat on the floor with him as he opened the first crate.

It was mostly filled with datapads, and Jazz made a surprised little sound. "I wouldn't have figured you were such a geek."

"You're bonded to one."

"Yup." Jazz grinned. "So I'm a geek by osmosis." He took a few pads and had a look at the titles. "These are totally out of order."

Starscream glanced at Jazz's selection. "They are. And…," he stared. "Some of them aren't mine." It wasn't much of a surprise that Skyfire's creators hadn't taken the bookfiles, or hadn't wanted to sort through the mess that was the shared shelf space.

Jazz reached out to squeeze his hand. "Let's see what's there, right."

So they divided them into a science and a recreational stack, and then they sorted the science stack according to the different disciplines.

There were more datapads in the second box, plus various memorabilia. Starscream's old rank insignia, marking him trine leader. Youngest trine leader in a centivorn, according to Octane, who'd been reluctant to let him go. Nobody had particularly liked Starscream, but he'd been good at what he was doing. He'd been Octane's child prodigy, but no one outside Vos took notice of that kind of thing.

The rather generic congratulations letter he'd gotten from the Lord Protector's office back when he'd won a flying contest.

Pictures. Dozens of them, some framed, because he'd needed some kind of reminder that his life hadn't been one heap of slag on top of another. His old trinemates grinning at him, Vos at sunrise, looking almost like home for a change. He and Skyfire grinning from behind those stupid protective visors you had to wear in the chemistry lab.

But. That one had been on Skyfire's desk.

"Kid?"

Starscream shook his head and began skimming through the remainder of the pictures. They'd left most of Skyfire's pictures with him, all of those that showed them together or just Starscream, and in turn, they'd taken Starscream's two framed ones of Skyfire. They hadn't filed through those of Starscream's that weren't framed, thankfully.

"Hey," Jazz said after a while. "What's up? Someone steal something?"

Shaking himself out of his memories, Starscream decided on an answer. "I didn't think they hated me that much."

"Who?"

"His creators."

"They're probably very angry and blaming you," Jazz said. "What did they do?"

Starscream explained.

"Oh," Jazz offered dumbly. "They left all the evidence you had to do anything with him. They're denying you meant something to him. So they're denying you the right to be remembered as his bondmate, and the right to grieve."

Was it that? Maybe. All Starscream knew was that it hurt. Skyfire's creators had never liked him much, but they were his in-laws, even if they hadn't known about it, and he'd made an effort to be polite. They were always smothering Skyfire with their love, even if they didn't have the credits to spoil him, and all Starscream had wanted from them was a sliver of the acceptance they had for their creation. Skyfire had always promised that they'd come around one orn, but now he was dead and so the only mech who had ever really known Starscream was gone and left him more lonely than he'd ever been and he'd never have a family unit of his own now and –

"Hush, kid." Hands tugged at his shoulders and he leaned forward until his forehead met Jazz's. Jazz clicked at him and whispered nonsense of how it would be alright and that he should let it all out, while Starscream struggled to get the hitching in his ventilation system under control.

It took a while, and Starscream tried to pull away, but Jazz wouldn't let him, which didn't bode well. Starscream hadn't cried like that since he'd been ten vorns old, and they'd all made fun of him and wouldn't let him live it down, so he'd requested a transfer.

"No, kidlet. Don't go all evasive on me now. It was high time, and, look at me, will you, I'm honored you trust me like that."

Starscream looked away as soon as Jazz let him. Trust, such a frail thing, but there was no hint of malice in Jazz's face or his words.

Jazz placed a small peck like a blessing on Starscream's forehead and let go. "Tell you what? I'll show you my holograph collection if you tell me something about these."

xxx

They were still sitting on the floor when Prowl came home and raised his optic ridges at the chaos of stacked datapads and an uncounted number of pictures strewn around them.

"The Pitspawns will be here any breem," he said mildly. "You'd better hide anything incriminating."

The Pitspawns turned out to be a pair of twins that owned the entire top floor. After introductions, the red one said, "you didn't tell me he was gorgeous, Jazz-bot," winked at Starscream and continued to flirt with him for the entire evening.

The free-for-all had obviously been taken to spark, as there were no less than eight uninvited other individuals who wanted a peek at Starscream. Most of them were bearable, considering their backgrounds, but Starscream excused himself after while, tidied up his room and then sat down in front of the windows to watch the Iacon night until the noise in the living room abated around midnight.

He must have fallen into recharge sometime after that, and that was why Jazz delivered a small scolding when he found Starscream sleeping on the floor the next morning.

Not feeling like staying around for more of it, Starscream flew to the Academy and sought out Nozzle's office.

xxx

Nozzle wasn't important enough to warrant an assistant of his own, so he opened the door himself and seemed only mildly surprised to see Starscream. "Perceptor told me you dropped by last orn."

"He did?"

Nozzle grinned. "Shortly before we closed up and only as an apropos, but that's more than I can ask of him. It's good to have you back."

Starscream nodded.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask more questions than I did. Alkali is a rather fast talker, and I believed him when he said the trial was a mere formality."

Starscream nodded again, not wanting to argue about it, but not ready to forgive just yet, either. "I want to continue working on our- my thesis."

"Yes." Nozzle nodded. "I understand. Unfortunately, last decacycle I set a post-grad transfer from Altihex on the samples you brought. We had no idea what was going on, Alkali never even did say he foisted you onto someone else. I'm sorry. There's more than enough to study to get you graduated and him a teaching position ten times over, though. But please don't make him miserable, he's not responsible for any of this."

It was just the last insult of an uncountable number of them, and by now Starscream should have been used to it. They all had only accepted him for Skyfire's sake and none of them had bothered to even come see him, and it had taken two nosy police officers and the fragging Prime to discover there'd been a fault in the proceedings.

He'd finish the thesis and then he'd abandon this group of uncaring scientists. "I'd like to meet that newcomer."

"Sure. I saw him heading to brave the Doctor a few breems ago. Come."

Starscream trudged after Nozzle along the dimly lit corridors to where there dwelt the electron microscope and its watchful defender, a tiny red mech everyone called Doctor Spook. Starscream had never learned what his actual name was. The nametag on the door had long been replaced with the nickname, and the Doctor didn't seem to mind. It was obviously a small price to pay for being the only mech allowed to touch the thing.

Nozzle knocked, and they were yelled at to enter. The Doctor was hunched over the controls, not even bothering to look and see who was there, but there was a medium sized green mech who'd turned around and smiled.

"Hello," the stranger said.

"Hello. So. Starscream, this is Hound. Hound, Starscream."

Hound's optics went wide at that. "You're Starscream?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Wow. Cool." Then, his face fell. "You want your samples back, don't you? I suppose I should have at least told you I was working on them. Sorry. I can be pretty insensitive at times."

"It wasn't your fault," Starscream said, feeling gracious because nobody had ever called him cool before, and Nozzle had the decency to shift his weight. "And I do want the samples back, but I'd be willing to share if we get along."

"You would? Wow. Thanks. Really. I only requested the transfer because I wanted to work with offworld lifeforms. I read the essay on what you and Skyfire were going to try to prove, and I found it fascinating…," he trailed off. "Here I go again. I'm sorry you lost him."

"So am I." Starscream shook his head. Leave it to an absolute stranger to deliver overdue condolences. "Tell me what you're doing here."

Hound blinked at the non-sequitur, but unsubspaced a datapad and handed it over to Starscream. "I melted a milliliter of those water crystals last orn, and had a look at it with an ordinary microscope. It's full of lifeforms like you wouldn't believe."

Hound had been right. It was teeming with one-celled organisms, round, oval, with and without tendrils, some clinging together in a string of sorts.

Starscream felt a grin tugging at his mouth. They'd been right all along. There were at least ten different species in this small sample alone.

"It's an absolute breakthrough," Hound said. "You were right. Congratulations."

"Thanks. Now, what are you looking at right now?"

Starscream hung around the lab and let Hound explain what he'd been doing until the Doctor was done looking at the string of round lifeforms and the computer needed to process the images.

Hound lent Starscream a few datapads with copies of all his results and some reading material, and Starscream returned home a few breems before Prowl was supposed to arrive. He gave Jazz an abbreviated version of his orn and was hugged for being right. Figuring it was more comfortable to just read at the living room table, with Jazz doing something unfathomable to the entertainment center, Starscream spread his material out and picked up the pad with the microscope results.

It was fascinating.

Eventually, Jazz stopped his fiddling. "You wanna tidy up, kid. Prowl's gonna be here any astrosecond."

Starscream sighed, but stood and dutifully stacked the datapads to place them on the end of the table they weren't going to use.

"You wanna put them into subspace or into your room," Jazz said, as if that made sense.

"I'll need them again in a bit."

"So subspace them."

"What's so bad about a few datapads on the table?"

Jazz didn't get around to explain, because Prowl chose that moment to enter. He seemed to have a heretofore unknown sense to detect untidiness, or maybe Jazz had warned him via their bond, because he spied the datapads immediately. And frowned.

"Please remove those from the table," he said.

"Why?"

"I don't want any work on the table while I'm refueling."

"It's just a few datapads. It's not like I'm going to read during mealtime."

"They'll distract you."

"How do you know that? It's not like we ever tried it out."

"Kid…," Jazz tried, but Starscream didn't feel like being 'kid'-ed right now. They were trying to apply a stupid rule, and he wasn't going to budge until it made sense.

"I would work while eating, if Jazz would let me," Prowl said. "You strike me as the same type."

Hah, Prowl had no idea. If anything, Starscream tended to forget about things like energon and recharge. "I've lived here for a grand two orns. You don't really know me."

Prowl's frown told Starscream that he'd hit a strategist dead center. "You're being deliberately belligerent. Remove those datapads."

"I didn't come here to be ordered around."

"Kindly remember we invited you."

"I didn't ask to be your ersatz sparkling."

Jazz made a little hurt noise, but Starscream didn't have the capacity to worry about collateral damage right now.

Prowl's optics narrowed. "Well, you agreed to it, and as long as I'm paying for your room and your fuel, you'll just have to abide by a few rules."

"So you'll throw me out if I'm not the model kid you expected? You're a great parent, really."

"And I can see why, up till now, everyone was glad to hand over the responsibility."

How dare Prowl? And what was Starscream even doing here, if one of his new parents held that opinion of him? "I should have known you expected me to be grateful enough to leave my personality by the door." Starscream carefully collected his datapads – no way was he going to let them see how he was trembling from anger – stalked out and locked himself into his room, where he began to pack his things into the crates he'd forgotten to return.

A breem later, there was knock on the door. "Kid?"

"Leave me alone."

"Please. If I explain how the rule came to be, will you come out?"

"No! This isn't about the fraggin rule. You want a kid who doesn't make trouble, you go looking somewhere else."

"Just open the door and we can talk this over."

"Well, I don't feel like being therapied right now, so take your psycho slag somewhere else."

"Kid, please don't escalate this."

"Just leave me alone. I'm going to apply for a room in the dorms first thing tomorrow, and I'll be out of your circuits as soon as I can."

"I don't want you to leave here."

"This isn't about what you want."

Jazz tried a few more entreaties, but Starscream didn't answer. He should have known it would end like this sooner or later.

* * *

XI

"Optimus?"

Jazz sounded very dejected, and this wasn't going to be the welcome distraction he'd hoped it to be. The call had gotten him out of the Risk match Mirage had tried to rope him into since forever, but he'd rather endure a night of Risk and a flirting senator instead of dealing with the trouble Jazz's tone promised.

"What is it, Jazz? Has something happened to Starscream?"

Jazz chuckled weakly. "Not really. He and Prowl had an argument that escalated and right now he's locked himself into his room and won't talk to me and Prowl's retreated into the office and refuses to apologize."

"There were bound to be some mishaps," he said.

"Yeah. I just didn't expect them to end up in Starscream threatening to move out."

"Oh."

"Yeah. If I read the sounds from his room correctly, he's packing his stuff right now."

Well, slag. What the Pit had Prowl said? "I'll be there in a bit," he promised.

Mirage was predictably disappointed, but Optimus didn't care much.

He broke a few speed limits tearing down the roads in his , and made it to Unity Arch in record time.

Jazz opened and looked rather haggard. "Thanks for coming."

"Anytime. Now tell me what happened."

"It was stupid, really," Jazz sighed and plopped down onto a chair. "Sit, it's gonna take a while. Starscream was reading here, and I was just about to explain why Prowl's so adamant about not having stuff on the table that's not food-related while we're refueling, when he came home, saw that Starscream had a few datapads on there and demanded he remove them. Prowl kinda botched the explanation, and in the end it was about how we'd only taken him in because we wanted a kid to show off and how he was really so bad that nobody had wanted him as a kid before. And I… well I didn't expect Starscream to use all that information against me."

"So Starscream has decided he doesn't want to take this on a regular basis," Optimus summed up. "Where is Prowl?"

Jazz showed him to the office, and Prowl frowned. "I won't apologize."

"I'm not saying you have to," Optimus said and leaned against the wall. "Tell me what happened."

"Starscream was working on the table, and I asked him to remove the datapads so we could refuel. He was being obtuse and when I tried to remind him this was Jazz's and my apartment and there were a few rules in place, he went ballistic on me."

"Jazz tells me you went ballistic right back."

"He was accusing me of only taking him in because Jazz and I wanted an 'ersatz sparkling', his words, and I said I understood why Alkali had wanted to get rid of him any way possible."

"And this doesn't strike you as something for which you should apologize?"

"We've put up with so much from him he should know we wouldn't try to get rid of him because of a minor argument like that, but he still accused us of it. He overreacted."

Wonderful. Now for the last party.

Optimus knocked at the door to Starscream's room, but there was no reaction.

"Starscream?"

"I should have known they'd rope you in," came the muffled voice from inside.

"Jazz is extremely distraught. Will you let me in and tell me what happened?"

There was a thud, and eventually the door opened. Jazz had been right, there were two boxes on the floor, filled with datapads and various other things, while the shelves were glaringly empty.

Starscream retreated, radiating indignant anger, and while it wasn't particularly appealing, Optimus still wanted to just grab him and hold him until he felt better. And just like the last time he'd seen Starscream, the orn before last, his sparkpulse quickened its pace and made him feel oddly weak and light-headed.

"It was fragging stupid, really," Starscream said, and began pacing. "Apparently there's this rule about no datapads on the living room table because Prowl is a workaholic. Anyway, I tried to point out that I'm not. So he let me know I wasn't being grateful enough, and I don't really want to live in a place where people expect me to be all obedient and quiet out of gratitude."

"I don't think he meant it like that. I think he thought you were being difficult just because you could. You've taken your anger out on them a few times before, after all."

"That does not excuse what he said."

"I'm just trying to make sense of what happened. I don't think anyone wants you to move out over this."

Starscream just huffed.

"Let me talk to Prowl."

Optimus wandered back to the office, where Prowl just blinked as he explained Starscream's point of view. It took awhile to settle in.

"He's a scientist," Prowl said after a while. "Of course."

"So it had nothing to do with him not being grateful enough?"

"It would not have been if I had understood what he was trying to say."

"Can you tell him that? The entire thing here sounds like a string of misunderstandings."

"Do you think? He was very deliberate in his insults."

"He always is. I have heard him call someone an over-clocked fragger once, but usually he's relying on blackmail material, not swearwords." Optimus was rather glad he had very little to argue about with Starscream. "To him, it's probably a useful defense strategy because it makes everyone else keep their distance."

Prowl sighed. "It's not exactly helpful to throw our trust back into our faces over something so minor."

"No, it's not, but I don't think he's particularly used to pulling his punches."

For a moment, Prowl stared at the wall, contemplating. "You're right. He's told me things… do me a favor and end that practice of forcing sparklings into being soldiers."

Optimus's tank clenched. What had they done to his Starscream? His imagination provided answers he didn't want to think about, and he shook his head to get rid of them. "I've sent someone I trust to Vos. He's having a look at things unobtrusively."

"Is that why Soundwave didn't turn up for Jazz's party last orn?"

Optimus inclined his head but didn't answer. "I'll present the case to the Senate once the mech in question has reported back."

"Good. I'll go and talk to Starscream now."

While Prowl disappeared down the hallway, Optimus joined a glum looking Jazz in the living room.

After ten breems of depressed silence, Jazz perked up, and a few astroseconds later, Prowl and Starscream entered, and Prowl announced they could refuel now.

"Join us for a cube?" Jazz asked Optimus.

"Just a little, please," and so he was sipping low grade from a high grade cube while the others were being awkwardly silent. Starscream wouldn't meet anyone's optics.

Optimus shouldn't have accepted the invitation, but should have given them room to work out whatever it was. It was too late now, though, and he was stuck until they'd finished their cubes.

"What was on those datapads, anyway?" he asked, hoping he wasn't committing a major faux-pas.

Starscream flitted a questioning look at Prowl, who wasn't reacting visibly, and at Jazz, who smiled. "Go on."

"I was accepted back into Nozzle's research group this morning."

"Congratulations." He managed a smile that made Jazz only grimace at him instead of earning another kick.

"They assigned me a new study partner, some post-grad transfer from Altihex, and he's done some preliminary testing on the samples I brought back."

It was an edited version, Optimus could tell, but that could wait until later.

"He's copied the results for me so I'd know what he's been doing the past decacycle. He melted one milliliter of one of the samples, and it's amazing. There's several hundred lifeforms in it, and at least five species. They aren't more complex than what we already know, but it's going to take us ages to describe all of them." Starscream's optics glowed with enthusiasm and pride, and he was smiling, and Primus was he beautiful.

"That means your theory is sound."

"Yeah." There was an almost mischievous grin on Starscream's face now, their optics met, again, and Optimus almost, almost had a sense that he was being considered for something other than friendship.

Just, patience. Starscream was, technically, jailbait. He was also reeling from the loss of a bondmate and Primus knew what else, if Optimus understood Prowl correctly. Optimus had very little hope he'd be considered in the near future.

Patience, yes.

So Optimus waited. Over the course of three vorns, he accepted invitations and doled them out in response, and most of the time he was lucky and saw Starscream once in a decacycle. He took very great care not to show anything, and Starscream remained oblivious even through a number of failures.

* * *

XII

Graduation was upon Starscream a flash, it seemed. At other times, those three vorns of dissecting and experimenting with carbon based lifeforms and trying to grow them felt like the longest three vorns of his life.

And now it was the night when he'd get his diploma.

It was a little odd, given that he'd handed in the required article (that was more of a book) half a stellar cycle ago and was currently trying to decide what he should do with the rest of his life.

Hound had gotten his teaching position last vorn, because he was content to publish in increments, and he'd been trying to cajole Starscream into continuing his research ever since.

"There you are." Said green mech shoved his way through a rowdy group of undergraduates and grinned at Starscream. "I swear, sometimes even I feel too short. Hello Jazz. Prowl."

Jazz and Prowl offered greetings and then let Hound talk science at Starscream in peace, while Starscream let himself wrapped in that comforting bubble and almost managed to forget about the crowd. – The main hall was indeed packed with most of the Academy, graduates, undergraduates who had a friend or dorm mate who was receiving their diploma, teachers, creators, siblings, extended family, Academy officials and other VIMs. Both Optimus and his brother were there plus a few senators, the mayor and whatnot. They were standing in a group, and Optimus looked rather bored.

Eventually the noise died down, Chancellor Incise climbed onto the podium, delivered the exact same speech as last vorn about how proud Iacon should be of the brilliant young mechs here, blah, blah.

Then, he handed out the diplomas, shaking everyone's hand once, and then the individual deans came up to dole out the awards. Natural Science was always the last department, so it took a while until Perceptor handed out the awards for various physics and chemistry fields, and then fidgeted slightly. "Lastly, we had to determine what to do about the xenobiology award. We had a candidate, but he argued valiantly that while he did most of the work, the original hypothesis wasn't his alone. Therefore, the award for groundbreaking research goes to the deceased Skyfire, who was the first to postulate multicellular, carbon based lifeforms. Please be silent for a breem to remember this outstanding and generous young mech."

"Shush, kid." A hand snuck around Starscream's waist, and he leaned into Jazz.

The pain hadn't been so acute for while now, as he watched the empty stage where Skyfire should be standing and grinning goofily at all the attention.

Starscream was glad he'd talked Perceptor out of calling him up there, because he had little interest in showcasing his grief like that.

After the breem was over, Optimus had to speak.

"Good evening. Don't be afraid, I won't keep you from partying much longer. First, I'd like to congratulate you. Most of you now have a better education than I do."

There were a few polite laughs, but most people just seemed puzzled by Prime's approach.

"I know all of you worked hard to graduate here, whether you made it into this Academy by you own, or your creators' merit. Getting in is one thing, staying is quite another, as I've experienced."

More laughs, as this was familiar territory. Or so they thought. Optimus had practiced the speech on Starscream, and they were all being herded to a cliff while he was smiling genially.

"It's one of the first lessons I learned here. You can't rest on your merits, or you'll get complacent, and complacency usually means failure.

"The second lesson I learned here is to consider the source. Don't believe everything you're told, and ask questions. Who is telling you this? What does he want? Who is paying him, and what do they want?

"A staggering number of you failed to apply this very basic principle, and it nearly cost one of your own his life. I know who you are, and I know that you know who you are, and I hope you're aware you let your prejudice overcome common sense.

"That would be the third lesson. Be aware of the prejudice. You will never be able to leave it behind, but you can realize when you're falling prey to it.

"So, keep asking questions. Be alert and keep an open mind. Primus knows you'll need it, because things are about to change. Thank you."

There was a moment of silence before the applause started, and it lasted a breem before the chancellor announced there were now free energon and goodies for everyone.

Predictably, there was an immediate rush to the buffet, but Starscream saw Optimus heading over to them and kept his parents from running off.

Optimus enveloped him in a hug. "The last resistance in the Senate caved in this afternoon," he whispered into Starscream's audios.

No more mass production of mechs. Starscream sighed and leaned into Optimus for just an astrosecond. Optimus rarely doled out hugs. A pity, as it always felt nice to have someone bigger hold him for a change. "Thanks."

"You're quite welcome."

Optimus let go, received a squeeze round the middle from Jazz for the bestest graduation speech ever, and then it was time to introduce Hound, who was obviously dumbfounded the Prime wanted anything to do with him. Optimus made tentative small talk.

"You're lucky you're so big and can't get lost in here," a smooth voice said and a blue mech appeared at Optimus's elbow.

"Mirage." Optimus seemed exasperated. "You know Prowl and Jazz. This is Starscream, and Hound. Senator Mirage, everyone."

There was more small talk, then Mirage found out that Hound was from Altihex, and began asking about his old academy buddies. They seemed rather comfortable as they began to share gossip, and eventually Optimus tugged at Starscream's arm. Jazz and Prowl had excused themselves a breem ago.

"Let them flirt in peace," Optimus said as they were out of hearing range. "If I'm lucky, they hit it off and I won't ever have to endure Mirage's overtures again."

Starscream smirked. "He was already acting like he owned you."

"He deludes himself that I am being shy. Now, I need some high grade. What about you?"

They ran into a part of Starscream's old research group at the dispenser, there were more introductions and small talk, but after a short while Optimus excused himself, saying he needed to rescue his brother from the chancellor.

"Dude. That's so cool," an undergraduate, Breeze, said, "I didn't know you knew Prime."

Starscream found himself having to answer a number of questions. Jazz and Prowl sought them out shortly after Optimus had left, saying they were heading home because Jazz had had a long day – he'd started working again soon after Starscream rejoined the Academy – and there was no curfew, provided Starscream promised he wouldn't fly drunk.

Starscream did, and they left.

"That's the guys you're living with?" Breeze looked after them curiously.

"They're my foster parents," Starscream said.

"So how did you get them? Nozzle said you were Alkali's foster kid before he resigned."

"He was my legal guardian for a while."

"Huh. There's a difference?"

The kid had no idea, so Starscream went for, "I wasn't living at his place."

"So you had a dorm room?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Dude. The dorms don't have curfews."

Starscream looked down at Breeze and had the very great urge to bang the mech's head against the wall. It wouldn't do, however. "No matter how much they teach you here, you rich spoiled kids won't ever get it," he said and walked off. Breeze shouted something, but Starscream didn't have the patience to lecture the afthead right now.

He grabbed more high grade from another dispenser and retreated to a wall, where he sank down to sit on the floor. Some mech that screamed 'sensible adult' gave him a look that clearly dismissed him as a little punk.

Starscream raised his cube at him and then emptied it in one long gulp. Then he leaned back, because by now, his CPU felt a little like someone had filled it with helium and it was floating around in his head.

The last time he'd been this drunk, Skyfire had still been alive. They'd celebrated being accepted with Nozzle's group. Hah. Shouldn't have asked for it, should have known better than to trust two flyers with xenobiology.

And now Skyfire was dead, and nothing Starscream ever did would really mean anything, because the best time of his life was inevitably over.

He shouldn't even be here tonight, he should have stayed at home mourning like he was supposed to.

"Starscream?"

He blinked lazily and looked up at the slightly fuzzy figures of Optimus and some gray mech.

"He's totally overenergized," the gray mech complained.

Yup. But Starscream wasn't a happy drunk tonight, no.

"Obviously." Optimus crouched down. "How much did you have, Starscream?"

Umm. He did some calculating with his fingers. "Three?" No. "Two."

The gray mech laughed, but it didn't sound very nice. "What a lightweight. Call a transport to take him home, Optimus."

"I don't want to drop him off like that with Prowl and Jazz."

"It's not like you promised to look after him."

"I still feel responsible. I'm going to walk him home, that should take care of the overcharge."

The gray mech spluttered. "That's half a joor's walk."

"Other people walk further for fun," Optimus said. "And if you're going to be so unhelpful, you can go pester someone else."

"It's your wake," the gray mech said and walked off.

Starscream made a face at the mech's back. Fragger.

Optimus laughed, and it sounded real nice. "You either get used to Megatron or hire an assassin, I'm afraid. Now come on, let's get you home." Optimus rose and held out a hand for Starscream.

Optimus was strong, and when Starscream stumbled, he caught him. Hmm.

"You're really drunk." Optimus shoved Starscream off. "You wouldn't snuggle like that if you weren't." He grabbed Starscream's left upper arm, and tugged at it.

Starscream sighed and let himself be steered outside.

The night was cold. It would have been nice if Optimus maybe had an arm around him instead of this grip on his arm, but when he tried to snuggle close again, Optimus wouldn't let him.

"Stop pouting."

And so they walked.

Sometime later Starscream shook himself loose from the grip and discovered he could mostly walk in a straight line again. If he hung on to something. He grabbed Optimus's hand.

"Starscream?"

"I'm fine. It's wearing off."

"Good. I was hoping for that. Now what happened to make you overenergize?"

"How do you know it wasn't an accident?"

"I just could tell you were this drunk before."

Starscream raised his optic ridges. "I don't make a habit of it."

"I realized over the past vorns. You rarely had more than a taste."

"More and I can't fly."

"It's good you know your limit. So, what happened?"

"Some idiot. He effectively said I was stupid for living with Jazz and Prowl if I could live in a dorm and have no curfew."

"You have a curfew?"

"Technically. After I proved I could keep a curfew, they only mentioned it to tell me there wasn't one."

Optimus chuckled. "Sometimes you're entirely too sensible for your age. I'd understand it if you had a younger sibling… so the mech in question left you somewhat off kilter and you took the fastest way out."

"It made sense at the time." It must have been the one cube Starscream had had before the argument. Primus, he'd really made a fool of himself.

"If it's any consolation, Megatron won't talk about it. He's not a gossip."

"He didn't seem to like me much."

"He's just a little puzzled why I spend so much time with you."

"Why do you?" It made Starscream wonder, sometimes, what he had that someone else didn't.

"I like you," Optimus said. "You're honest with me, something most others aren't. You're actually interested in what I think. You have a quick wit, and you're a decent Quattra player. You know how to listen. It's usually a pleasure to have you around, and I'd like to consider you one of my friends."

It was so hilarious, Starscream actually laughed.

"What's funny?"

"I- I'm a Seeker, for frag's sake. And I'm a freak."

"I like you anyway. And I like you despite your constant efforts to downplay your own worth. You're as entitled to respect and happiness as everyone else."

"It still doesn't make sense."

"Friendship rarely does."

Starscream wouldn't know, of course. He had two friends. And Skyfire. Maybe the twins from the top floor counted, too.

He kept silent the rest of the way, and then there was Unity Arch, and the main entrance of 17 Unity Arch Plaza.

"So." Optimus turned to look down at him, and there was an odd indigo sheen in his optics. He was standing close and made Starscream remember how nice it had been to lean into him.

Starscream took a step back and realized he was still holding on to Optimus's hand. Huh. He let go. "Thanks for walking me home."

"Anytime. I'll call you tomorrow, there's a job open I think you would like."

"Really? Thanks."

"You're welcome." Optimus smiled. "Recharge well, then."

Starscream nodded. Why was this feeling so awkward all of a sudden? "You, too. See you." He turned and walked through the door to escape this odd situation.

* * *

XIII

It took Starscream the entire ride with the lift to understand what had unsettled him so.

Primus.

He plopped down on the living room floor and watched Iacon.

What a mess.

"Kid? Watcha doing there?"

And now he'd woken Jazz. Great. Starscream sighed.

"Evening didn't go as planned?"

"I don't know."

Jazz chuckled and came to sit beside him. "What's bugging you, hm?"

The secret was too amazing and confusing to keep in. "Optimus is in love with me."

Jazz was silent for a while. "Yes," he said eventually.

"Why aren't you surprised?"

"Kid, he was around your little finger the first time he saw you smile."

Oh. That was a while ago. One vorn, two, more like three? Primus. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Jazz tilted his head. "What would you have done if I did? You were grieving, still are. I didn't want to dump this extra load on you while you were healing. Besides, he was painfully obvious sometimes, and if you didn't realize, maybe this shows you weren't ready to know?"

Starscream shook his head. "I was better off not knowing."

"Were you?"

"I- what the frag am I supposed to do about it?"

"What do you want to do about it?"

"I don't know!" It felt like a lie. "I'm not supposed to want to do anything, anyway."

"There's no rule about how long you have to be in mourning, kid. It's been three vorns."

Unspoken, that Skyfire had been gone longer than they had been bonded, by now.

"Besides, I threatened him at gunpoint to keep his paws off you until you were of age, and that's six more vorns. So there's plenty of time for you to decide what to do. And to find out if you're attracted to him because he's Optimus, or because he's a pair of strong arms that remind you of someone else."

"What exactly are you implying?"

"I have optics, kid, I don't need to imply. You're young, you're supposed to be horny. Besides, he is easy enough on the optics."

"I suppose." Starscream hadn't really thought about it before. But he did remember the arms, yes. And holding hands as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"So, think about it."

"I'm not good enough at acting for him not to realize I caught on."

Jazz harrumphed. "So tell him you know, but it's a bit of a surprise for you, and you're really not ready to fall for anyone again, and ask him to tune it down and wait until you're ready to decide."

Starscream smirked, despite it all. "You make this kind of thing sound so easy."

"If you think you can't do it, I'll give him a stern talking to."

"I… I don't know."

"Well, tell me when you've made up your mind." Jazz leaned in and rubbed his knuckles over Starscream's helm. "You know I'll be with you every step of the way if you let me."

Did he? By now… "Thanks."

xxx

By the time Starscream entered the palace late the next afternoon, he'd resolved absolutely nothing. Every other breem he would cycle from deciding to act as if nothing had happened to deciding he would give Optimus the speech Jazz had laid out, to, occasionally, back the Prime into a corner and have his way with him.

All Starscream's previous certainty, that he would never betray Skyfire's memory by taking another partner, was gone. He'd harbored no illusions that he would never succumb to desire and have a fling or two, but… Prime was not fling material.

And neither was Starscream, really. Besides, the more he thought about it, the more sneaking around seemed a betrayal of Skyfire, and of what Skyfire had wished for him.

And so he really didn't know what to do, even when he followed a guard to a small conference room in the business part of the palace. The hallways were all very grand and stately, with statues in every conceivable niche and murals of heroes and their equally heroic battles.

It served to show the world was ground-pounder centric.

The conference room itself was surprisingly plain and comfortable, with a small round table and dark red walls glowing in the light from the large window.

The mechs sitting at the table rose as he entered – there was Optimus, Megatron and one of Jazz's friends, Soundwave.

Soundwave was a rather elusive character who never elaborated on the specifics of his job – his red optics said he was military, but that was the extent of the information other people were offered.

"Hello, Starscream," Optimus said. "I don't think we need introductions."

"No. Optimus. Lord Megatron. Soundwave." Starscream only received curt nods from the latter two, but that was who they were. It wasn't like he was more personable.

"Have a seat, please."

The round table didn't do anything for the situation, it was a job interview and it definitely felt like it. Unlike as on other interviews, Starscream was missing a vital information. "I still need to know for what kind of job I'm being interviewed."

Optimus gave him a wry smile. "As you've probably gathered from the news, the Senate agreed to restructure the military and mining operations, provided I can offer a viable alternative. Megatron and I have agreed to trust Soundwave with the military side of the planning. However, he needs all the help he can get, especially since Seekers are notoriously reluctant to talk to us 'ground-pounders'."

Ah. Apparently, there were jobs that required the existence of freak Seekers like Starscream. "You want me to act as liaison?"

"If one is needed."

Starscream raised his optic ridge.

Optimus grinned and continued. "There's the matter of roughly 150 underage Seekers to attend to. Plus an uncounted number of adults who will resign, given the opportunity. You know how they think, Soundwave doesn't. Also, we need numbers, something to approximate how much it will cost to educate them and find work for them they actually want to do."

It was huge. And it was going to be a desk job. Any other Seeker would have balked at the prospect. "It sounds worthwhile enough."

There was a little smile on Optimus's face.

"Why this interview if you knew I'd agree?"

"You've obviously not gotten the point," Megatron interrupted in that silky voice of his. "While you are suitable, it's a huge responsibility, especially for someone not yet of age."

Gah. Nobody asked after your age in Vos. "Command trusted me enough to make me trine leader," Starscream pointed out.

"That may be, but there's been some rather immature behavior of yours recorded."

"You're referring to the fact I was overcharged last night."

There was a very subtle twitch that indicated Starscream had guessed correctly.

"I won't apologize for that."

Megatron tilted his head, and seemed to reconsider him. "I want an honest answer to my next question."

"Shoot."

Optimus shifted slightly, and Starscream shot him a warning glance. He could look after himself.

"How often have you been overenergized like that?"

It was a harmless question, after all. "Three times, including last night."

Megatron looked at Soundwave, who nodded.

Hmm. This bore watching.

"That will do, I believe."

"We're agreeing, then?" Optimus asked.

"Affirmative," Soundwave said. It was almost startling to hear his odd voice. "Tomorrow, 300 joors, my office."

"Agreed," Starscream said. "I assume we'll go over the details then?"

"Affirmative."

"Welcome to the palace staff." Optimus smiled, and the sudden happiness and love that smile betrayed were rather startling. It was disconcerting to have missed such a wealth of emotion for that long. "I have some time now, if you'd like a tour."

"Sure."

Megatron gave them an odd look. Maybe he, too, had caught on.

After the required farewells, Optimus waited in the doorway for Starscream, and suddenly it just seemed right to reach out, trail a finger along Optimus's forearm, then grab his hand.

"Starscream…"

It was a plea, so Starscream stopped and actually looked Optimus in the optics. There was hope, as well as a quiet kind of desperation.

"You must think me such a dimwit," Starscream said.

"No!" Optimus squeezed his hand. "Is this what you want? You'll still have the job, even if you let go now."

"I won't. I'd like to see where this goes."

Optimus peered at him, as if trying to spot a lie. Eventually, he seemed satisfied. With a small grin, he lifted Starscream's hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss on the palm.

Something inside, something Starscream had thought long dead, started to flutter, and he just had to look at Optimus Prime's face a little while more.

-fin-


End file.
